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I shake my head at my friends while focusing my attention on Damien as they begin to talk over each other, interrupting and correcting one another, while they make jokes and laugh about how they had no idea and have to see my writing now. One thing is for sure, I'm never going to let Cass live down letting the secret out of the bag.
Damien doesn't even seem to be listening to them anymore. Instead, his gaze is deep and penetrating on me, and I feel seen, validated, and wanted.
The server comes back around and takes Damien’s order. That's the only time his attention actually leaves me, and I admire his light, kind communication with the waiter. My dad always told me that the way somebody talks to the staff is a good indication of who they really are on the inside. If that actually works, then Damien is the kind of person that I want in my life - because he’s kind, humorous, and makes the waiter laugh.
His attention quickly comes back to me as if he doesn't want me to feel left out or lonely.
“Tell me more about your life as a hitman,” I say, well aware my friends are listening while pretending to focus on each other.
Damien chuckles.
“I hear it's a killer job.” I internally cringe at my joke, but Damien chuckles.
“Well, I’m not really-”
“He’s the CEO of Black Industries,” Amy says, smiling as if proud of herself for outing his secret.
I’m instantly upset. Obviously, I knew that he wasn't a hitman, but I had a feeling that he wasn't telling me what he actually did for a reason. The fact that she was willing to tell on him and give away his secrets annoys me. I can see his displeasure at her words in his eyes, but he masks it well.
With a stiff smile, he glances at Amy. “I guess you’re onto me.”
With that, his attention comes back to me. “I absolutely love that you work with animals. A lifetime ago I thought about getting into the farrier industry.”
His admission surprises me. “I actually considered that until I saw someone trimming a cow’s hoof that had a pocket of puss build up. I’m not bothered by gross stuff, but the fact that they're in pain really bothers me.” I always felt bad that the cows would continue to stand on their front feet even after an abscess was drained from a hoof. I know they’re hardy animals and that every precaution is taken to make sure that they're comfortable, but it’s just not the line of work for me.
He turns toward me and his leg touches mine. “I still wish I'd gone with that instead of starting up my own company. Now it's just work work work all the time and no good feeling of helping animals that need it. Plus, this business industry is an ugly one.”
My heart goes out to him. I can't even imagine how things must feel. I imagine he has to question everyone in his life and wonder if they're there because they want to be or if they're there because they think they can get something from him.
“I think you're probably helping people too, just in a different way.” I feel a bit silly not knowing his business or what they do, even though at least one of my friends seems to.
“I'm sure you're right,” he says with a twinkle in his eyes as he gently brushes my hand with his fingertips.
And with that touch, I realize there's something electric between us and I feel so very alive.
I like him.
Sure, we're just strangers who met on a cruise, but this man seems to click with me in a way that no one else has. Maybe I'm wrong. Maybe there are red flags I'm missing, maybe I'm being stupid, but I like him a lot.
Still, I don't think now is the time to drag anyone into my life, given how poorly my last relationship ended. Technically, it hasn't ended, I guess, since Jake won't take no for an answer, no matter how many times I tell him it’s over.
And my heart clenches.
How can I possibly start a new relationship with someone when I can’t even end my old relationship?
It's not fair to bring someone in right now to deal with the mess that is my life and the issues left behind by the last guy who broke my heart.
Damien deserves better than that.
Chapter Four
Damien
I've been so worried I wouldn't see her again, yet I seem to be bumping into her everywhere.
And I am not complaining.
I’d used our dinner together last night to gather more information about her. I know who she is, what her job is, where she and Ben work, and now I know enough to set my plan in motion.
