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The silence was a blessing and a curse. I didn’t have to talk, but my thoughts would just beat at me until I wanted to scream. The door closed, and I stood there, trying to focus on the birds I heard in the feeder outside the window. The leaves in the wind. Anything but what I’d been thinking of.
The door opened again, and I heard heavy footsteps. Clenching the countertop, I tensed as the familiar sound of boots on the hardwood drew closer. Had this been a setup? Maeme wouldn’t do that to me. My heart felt like it was in my throat and pounding away like it was trying to break through. What did I say? Did I run? Was he going to force me to go with him?
When Thatcher walked into the kitchen, I let out a breath as my knees slightly buckled. It wasn’t Storm. He hadn’t come to get me. The fact that there was disappointment laced through all the other emotion didn’t surprise me. There was a part of me that wanted him to burst in here, claiming he loved me and proving it. He would show me how he could love me properly. He’d have explanations that made sense as to why he had done the things he had. It was just sad because I knew there were no answers that would make all that okay. That was a fantasy I had to let go of.
Thatcher looked at me and paused, then continued into the room, going over to the platter of pancakes and sausage. He picked up a pancake and took a bite, then made his way to the refrigerator.
“I was wrong about you,” he said, breaking the silence as he opened the door and pulled out a gallon of milk.
I didn’t reply, but waited to see if he was going to elaborate. He set the milk down, then looked at me, making me slightly uncomfortable. There was a flicker of disgust.
“I thought you were dark enough, that you’d lived through enough shit that you had the spine to handle this life. To understand Storm.”
He was going to turn this on me now? Would they all do that eventually? Maeme hadn’t made excuses for him really, but she had said some things that I’d thought about while lying awake last night. Making me question it all.
“This life you all live isn’t the issue. I can’t trust Storm. He doesn’t love me. What he did was psycho behavior. All because he wanted to keep me to himself? He did all that to make me dependent on him. Well, it worked. I was his. I fell in love with him. But he still continued with the crazy stuff. He wouldn’t even let me work. He didn’t want to share me.”
I stopped because I realized I wasn’t even talking to Thatcher. I was reminding myself why I had to go. Why I couldn’t forgive him and stay. Because every moment that ticked by and I was still here, I wanted to run back to him.
Thatcher took another bite of the pancake in his hand as he gave me a scowl. “That’s funny,” he said after he swallowed. “Because he asked me to get you an audition with a producer. I have a business associate in Nashville that owns a record label.” He took a drink of his milk and leaned back on the counter behind him. “That sounds like he was setting you up to share you with the world. Guess we see things differently.”
I gaped at him. He wanted me to believe Storm was going to help me get a record deal. I would have to be around a lot of people. There was no way he was going to let that happen. The man wouldn’t let me work at a freaking bar.
“He might have done some shit that you can’t accept as love or whatever. Never seen him give a fuck about a woman before, but he sure as hell wanted you.” He drank down the rest of the milk, then walked over to get a piece of sausage as I stood there, not sure what to believe or even feel.
“Guess the fact that Lula Mae has been taking him meals, even showed up at the stables today and waited to see if he’d come or not. Lucky for her, he finally left his house. She’s real happy about it too. She’s doing everything she can to take your place. Reckon none of that makes you see red, feel a little unhinged. Seeing as how stable you are,” he said, then stuck the sausage in his mouth and walked out.
I stared at the door long after he left. The simmer inside me slowly began to build. My teeth clenched as I thought of her touching him. Being near him. Going in his house.
