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He had asked Thatcher to get me an audition at a record label. I seriously doubted I’d get a deal. I wasn’t that talented, but he believed in me that much. Was there anything he wouldn’t do for me? He’d gotten me custody of Dovie. He had set up a school for her. Did someone do all that lightly? No. His actions hadn’t all been unhinged. And when he looked at me… my heart had trusted.
I swallowed hard and closed my eyes. God, when he looked at me, I had never questioned his love.
Did it all come down to one question—could I live without him? Would I truly be alive if I lost him? Right now, my heart sure didn’t feel that way.
I shook my head as I opened my eyes and took a deep breath. No, I didn’t want a life that he wasn’t in.
What he’d done was wrong. I hated that he’d lied to me. But did I hate it more than the thought of losing him? I hadn’t left yet. I hadn’t told Pepper to come get me. Why? Because I was the one lying to myself. Not accepting that leaving him was impossible. I was still here because deep down, I’d always known I couldn’t physically do it. He loved differently. Expressed it in a way that was difficult to understand but it didn’t make it less powerful. Less real. And if this was how Storm showed his love, with insane and possessive behavior, I’d rather it be me than someone else he was doing it to. Not some future wife and not fucking Lula Mae. Me.
I stalked out of the kitchen and headed for my room. I needed to get my boots on. I didn’t have a car here, but I could walk from Maeme’s property to the Shephards’ and climb the fence. I’d made my decision, and for the first time in forty-eight hours, I could take a deep breath.
• Twenty-Six •
“You’re provoking the wrong woman.”
Storm
I glared down at the whiskey in my glass, hating it for not being enough to ease the consistent wrenching in my chest. Nothing was going to work. Breaking shit had done nothing. I was real fucking close to ripping the door off Maeme’s house and going to get Briar.
“I thought you coming in today was a good sign. But breaking Rafe’s nose was unnecessary. Maybe you need to go back home.” King’s voice wasn’t welcome.
“No,” I gritted out.
When I was there, I was only reminded of Briar not being there. Of her leaving me. If I was here, then I was at least close to her. As close as Maeme would let me fucking get.
“Rafe was only getting Noor out because Lula Mae had asked him to.”
I slammed a fist down on the bar, causing the glass to rattle. “Noor isn’t Lula Mae’s horse. NO ONE but Briar rides her.”
Rafe was a good stablehand. I hadn’t meant to break his nose. I’d just seen him getting Noor out and snapped. I’d bought Noor for Briar.
“Yeah. Everyone is aware of that rule now. Come on. I’ll drive you home.”
“I’m not leaving.” I glared at him. “She’s next door. It’s as close as I can get to her.”
King sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “And how long until you crack and go over there? Maeme will put a bullet in you, then call the Doc to fix you up. Don’t test her.”
I picked up the glass and downed the rest of the whiskey in it. “Right now, being shot doesn’t sound so bad.”
King crossed his arms over his chest. “We don’t need you injured. She’s still there, man. She hasn’t left. That has to tell you something.”
I was clinging to that one fact. It was all that was keeping me sane. She hadn’t left yet. She was still here. Not with me, where she belonged, but she was here.
“If she would talk to me …”
“Give her time. Maeme said she’s not doing so good herself. She’s not eating or leaving her room. She loves you. If she didn’t, this wouldn’t be so hard on her. But I mean, Storm, you did some messed-up shit. Like Thatcher level of deranged.”
And I’d do it all again if it got her here. Probably shouldn’t admit that though.
“I did what I had to do. She’s mine,” I said, needing to get out of this room. Outside. Something. I felt caged and unsettled.
“That’s not making you sound better,” King replied as I walked past him toward the door.
I stalked out, heading for the exit. I needed the heat, some air. My lungs were so damn tight that every breath I took was difficult. The pounding in my head hadn’t eased up since she had walked out on me. The only sleep I had gotten was because of sheer exhaustion. I’d eventually crashed while sitting up on the sofa for two hours. I needed to see her. Bury my nose in her neck and smell her. Soak in every detail.
