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“Yeah, we’ve become the targets of a group of assassins, lost our house, Bram nearly died, Seb’s fiancée became worm food…” Callen recounts the incidents on his fingers until Seb’s glare silences him. “But hey, who’s keeping count?”
“If you want to walk away and pretend none of this ever happened, we’d understand,” Freddie says hastily.
“If I stayed, things would have to change,” I say, clearing my throat. “I’ve lived under the control of men for too long. First, Spencer, then Alaric. I’m not following anyone else’s orders again.”
Seb laughs like I’ve told a joke. “I think you’ve misunderstood. I don’t want you to stay to become a Duke and follow my orders.”
“Great, so she’ll get special treatment too,” Callen grumbles under his breath.
“We want you to stay because we like having you around. We care about you,” Seb says. “And we’d never want you to bow down to anyone else ever again.”
Callen opens his mouth to crack a dick-sucking joke, but Freddie nudges him in the ribs and winds him.
Is a life with the four of them what I want? Could I imagine myself staying with them for good? Could I put up with Callen’s bullshit, Freddie’s brooding, Seb’s terrible jokes, and Bram’s fierce protectiveness? I already know my answer, but I’m not ready to show them my hand yet…
“I’ll think about it,” I say.
“Good, because we want you in our lives,” Seb says. He takes a deep breath. “And even though some of us don’t want to admit it….” He looks at Callen. “We all have feelings for you, Ivy.”
“I won’t be a Dukes groupie that you can use as a fuck puppet,” I say before Callen gets the wrong idea.
Freddie, Seb, and Bram look horrified while Callen laughs and mutters, “Shame.”
“That’s not what I meant!” Seb says, his cheeks flushing. “We’d like to be with you, whatever that looks like, but the decision is yours. I just wanted—needed—you to know that, whatever happens today, you’ll always have a home with us. No other woman could compare to you, or put up with our bullshit. If the last few months have proven anything to me, it’s that we’re not the same without you. And I don’t want to go back to that.”
My heart pounds as the magnitude of Seb’s admission sinks in. I drink more coffee to avoid saying anything, knowing they’re all staring at me, waiting for some kind of response.
Eventually, I say, “We’ll see what happens if we survive.”
Seb nods curtly, putting an end to the conversation and leaving me reeling. He knows I can’t be rushed and respects that.
Callen claps his hands. “So, who’s ready to get armed up?”
“Now you’re speaking my language,” I say.
I could talk about weapons, torture, and dismemberment all day, but feelings? That isn’t a language I know how to speak yet…
CHAPTER 29
SEB
Their weapons’ store is impressive. It has everything from guns and knives to bombs and a variety of spy equipment. While it’s great to have supplies, I can’t help but feel a pang of sadness. I miss our old house with our custom-built weapons room. If everything goes as planned, hopefully, we can return there.
“No gunpowder!” Freddie snatches a box from Callen’s hands. “We’re not blowing up the Killers Club HQ again.”
Callen swears and continues rummaging around. Minutes later, everyone is well-equipped and buzzing with excitement. It’s been a while since we’ve been so prepared.
“Hey, Ivy?” I catch her arm as the others leave with their new toys. “Can we talk for a minute?”
She looks over my shoulder at Bram and nods to confirm she’s okay. “Sure.” When we’re alone, she crosses her arms. “What do you want to talk about?”
“After what I said at breakfast, I wanted to clear the air,” I say. “It was a lot to put on you.”
I was selfish to put her on the spot. Although I can’t help how I feel and never want to let her go, I will if it’s what she wants.
“Consider the air cleared,” she says briskly in a business-like tone, sweeping straight over it. “People say all sorts of shit when they’re about to face death.”
“I meant every word,” I insist.
