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Theo came to town to blow up their engagement. Every time he interacts with his brother, it ends in simmering tension or a complete blow up. He didn’t talk to me for over a week when I told him about the double date and admitted later his brother was the reason. Not Alice.
“No.” I shake my head finally. “No, it doesn’t seem like that’s what he wants.” To be fair, it doesn’t seem like Ben wants to work on their relationship either.
“Look, I don’t know who to trust here,” Angela says. “You know both of them better than I do, so I guess it comes down to who you trust more. Ben or Theo?”
A month ago, this would’ve been the easiest question to answer. I would’ve stood by Ben a hundred percent. Now I have no idea who to believe between the two of them.
“If Theo doesn’t want to make amends, do you think he wants… something else?” Angela asks carefully. “Do you think he’s beyond getting back at Ben for hurting him?”
“I… I don’t know.” Theo’s image comes to mind. Those wide blue eyes. His kind smile. His promise to always be honest with me. It’s hard to imagine him ever doing something so malicious on purpose. To me.
“Well, maybe you should think about it,” Angela says. “Think of all the warnings you’ve gotten about him. Even Alice was worried about your relationship. What if there’s more to him than we think? And you just can’t see it because he’s told you enough of the truth to mask his true motivation?”
I frown, considering her point from all angles, but it just doesn’t make sense. He always seems so open around me, so earnest in his intentions.
All I can promise is to always be honest with you.
Could that really have been a lie? Has hooking up with him clouded my judgment?
“I’ve gotta go,” I say suddenly.
“Be careful,” Angela tells me. I’ve lost count of how many times people have told me this exact same thing about Theo. “And don’t keep any more secrets from me.”
Twenty
I haven’t been on my phone at work this much since… never, maybe.
While Theo is in the process of decorating his new apartment, it doesn’t leave us a whole lot of time to meet up during the week. To make up for it, we’ve been texting nonstop. I’m smiling at the message under the picture Theo just sent me of his newly set up bedroom. The bed is centered against the wall, the morning light distilled against his navy-blue comforter, nearly the same shade as his eyes. A black nightstand sits beside it.
Theo: We have a new bed to christen
Me:
Me: Hurry up already so I can see you!
Theo: Patience, woman. Everything needs to be perfect before you can visit.
Me: Perfect schmerfect. I miss you
I stare down at the message before sending it. We’re long past boundaries, but something about telling him I miss him, even if it is via text message, doesn’t quite sit right. Like I’m showing him a side I haven’t allowed him to see yet. Be careful. Angela’s warning comes unbidden, but I fear it’s far too late for that now.
I shake my head. I’m just being paranoid. There’s no way Theo can possibly be that guy. And besides, it’s perfectly fine to miss someone in a friendly way, and that’s all this is. Friendly.
“Your cheeks are red.”
Andy is standing over me from the other side of the circulation desk, a stack of YA books under one arm. I quickly throw my phone inside a drawer and motion for her to hand me the pile. “I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
“Were you texting your boyfriend?” Her brown eyes are sparkling mischief. “Did he send you something dirty?”
The photo of his new bed immediately pops into my brain.
“Fourteen.” I shake my head as she hands me her library card. “You are fourteen. Do I need to have another conversation with your mother?”
“No, ma’am.” She immediately shrinks. A smug smile tugs my lips up. “Does he make you happy?”
Her expression is sheepish, but there’s no hiding the hope shining in her eyes. The question is a simple one, but it twists up my insides until I can barely breathe.
“Yeah.” The admission makes me queasy, but I owe her the truth. I owe myself the truth, even if it won’t be true for very long. “He makes me happy.”
