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I know he’s been on dates and slept with other women. It shouldn’t matter…
But since learning that I’m still technically his wife, my mind has been doing overtime trying to figure this all out.
I even used my vibrator last night, and it wasn’t for anyone but myself, because I needed relief and it’s been a while. I guess it’s one way to release some frustration.
I need to stop thinking about Brook.
It doesn’t feel like I’m being fair to my boyfriend, or to myself.
I need to see Kirk. Then I’ll know.
And I can hopefully forget this ridiculous notion that’s popping up in my brain telling me that Brook and I did the wrong thing, and that being still married is a blessing not a curse.
I won’t hear it. It wasn’t meant to be.
That’s my mantra, and I’m sticking to it.
I’ve only been to Kirk’s place twice before in the past few months we’ve been seeing each other. I know the distance isn’t ideal, and I’m not sure how we would work things long-term, especially given the fact he’s a surgeon and works crazy hours. He has mentioned in passing the possibility of moving hospitals for the right person, so there is that.
Georgia-Blue made a comment that she thought he looked a little bit like a hot-shot when she met him — I guess she just isn’t used to seeing me with anyone.
“He’s as good as gold,” I said to her at the party. “He comes across as a bit stiff, but once you get to know him, he’s a lot of fun.” Even if he was mad at me before Blake’s birthday — when I was running around all morning setting things up for the party.
She didn’t say anything else to my reply, because usually everything she says is true and her brothers have often said she has insights. I’d prefer not to think about what those insights are right now. God knows what she thinks about what’s going on in my life, as well as in my head.
Kirk doesn’t come across that way to me. Though, I know he can be very smooth and suave being a doctor, and he’s been with a lot of women.
Even if he was being an ass at the party, I put that down to him and Brook clashing. It was kind of awkward. Under it all he really is very charming and has a sexy smile. He’s also thoughtful and good at making me feel special. And he helps people. That’s gotta count for something.
I thought about calling to surprise him, but instead I texted him earlier asking him about his day and what he was up to. He said he’d be in surgery until later tonight and he’d call me if it wasn’t too late. I could barely contain myself knowing I was already heading down there and would be waiting for him when he got home.
He sent me the sweetest text while I was driving, and I replied when I pulled over to make a pitstop.
Kirk
I miss you, Eden. I can’t wait to see you again & I’m sorry I had to leave Blake’s party early. I’ll make it up to you
Me
It’s ok I understand. We’ll see each other soon
He has no idea how soon that is going to be. I smile to myself.
I can now see that some of the doubts I’ve been having are just in my imagination. Kirk is as good as gold, and I think he’s going to be very happy to see me.
I plan to forget everything going on back home for the moment and focus on just me and him, and getting to know him more intimately.
Brooklyn Bassett may have thrown a spanner in the works with this thing he calls ‘a little detail’ in our non-divorce, but it will all get straightened out in the wash. I’m not going to let it get to me anymore. Things will work out for the better. I just know it.
10
Brooklyn
Okay, so things have been a little on the tense side since Blake’s birthday party. That’s putting it mildly. Eden is at least being nice about it; maybe she’s had time to digest the information. But her up and running off to Atlanta the first chance she gets tells me all I need to know.
For one; I need to put my little fantasy to bed.
She doesn’t feel what I feel, and there’s no way she’s even remotely making any plans to reconcile with me. In fact, it’s the opposite.
