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Chapter Thirty-Six
Logan
“You don’t want to have children with me,” Ines snaps. She’s back at her suitcase hoping I’ll stop her. I guess I should, and I would, if I really loved her. Living with her, dancing and singing with her, has made me grow. Especially since she’s from another country and culture. It expanded my mind and what I thought I was capable of.
But she’s not Sam.
I might be the dumbest guy who ever walked this earth. I should grab that suitcase and put it back in her closet. I should take her in my arms and tell her to call the friend who said, “You can stay with me as long as you need, Ines.” I should get ready for Turkey, where we arrive three weeks from now. I should continue to embrace this bohemian life and stop thinking about the blonde who teaches kids to dance in a medium-sized city back in still-puritanical America where you can’t show nudity in a film, but violence is acceptable.
“Ines, I’ve been thinking about it, and it would be wrong to have children when I feel like this. We didn’t think we would last anyway. You always tell me that I’m too provincial for you.”
Ines slams her polka-dotted bra into the suitcase. “That was in the beginning. Before I fell in love with you!”
I push off the wall and take a deep breath. She paces in a circle like she wants to escape, but rushes into my arms instead. Embracing her, I whisper, “I’m so sorry.”
She shoves me away, eyes shooting rockets of pain. “Get away from me. Go somewhere. Anywhere. I don’t want to see your face ever again.”
“You’re going to see me at the performance tonight.”
Veins pop as she shouts, “GET OUT!”
Chewing the inside of my lip, I make long strides to the door. She screams things in French that I don’t have to speak the language to understand.
“I’m really sorry,” I firmly say while meeting her eyes. I have to duck away from the high-heel flying at my forehead. It hits the door as I close it and walk down the carpeted hallway of our small apartment in Hong Kong.
The cramped sidewalk is a relief.
So easy to get lost with this population. I keep my chin down and let the flow guide the way.
