AllFreeNovel
Share Us
“Sorry for what exactly?” Tori paced, to the couch then to the TV. There weren’t enough steps, but there was no telling Miranda to move so she could pace the length of the living room instead of the width. So back to the couch and then again to the TV would have to do.
“I’m sorry—”
“No, actually let me just list a few of the things you might be sorry for, but who knows. I sure as hell don’t. Because that would require you to be brave enough to actually let someone in. So are you sorry for getting to know me? For leaning on me to help with Rebel? Are you sorry for fucking me?”
Tori rolled her eyes, fighting back shudders as memories of Miranda’s touch flooded her body. She kept pacing. The pacing helped—at least she told herself that.
“Fucked me so many times I lost my mind over you. Or maybe you’re sorry for ruining the first date with an amazing person? The first person I saw a potential future with since I met you, because you threw a two-year-old tantrum, afraid she was going to play with the toy you no longer wanted? I should let Rebel know she’s trained you well.”
“Tori.” Miranda stepped closer, hand half-lifting from her side but not quite reaching out.
“No.” Tori stopped pacing, and the tears that had been held precariously in place while she ranted fell freely from her eyes and down her cheeks. “Why, Miranda? Why’d you throw me away repeatedly just to come back and do it to me yet again?”
“I was drowning,” Miranda said the words, a choke in her throat.
“Then you should’ve lifted your hand out of the water to show me where you were.”
“I tri—” Miranda stopped what she was going to say and closed her eyes. Her next words came out much quieter. “I don’t know how.”
Tori took deep shuddering breaths in and out through her nose, her shoulders rising and her head dropping forward. She gulped at the air and more tears came, for all the confusion and the hurt, for the pain and twisted knots. And then she cried for all that she had said, and the words she couldn’t take back. She cried for no longer feeling as though she knew who the hell she even was.
“It’s not a partner’s job to teach you how to lift your hand out of the water. They’re there to help support you, but you have to raise it first.” She couldn’t lift her head. She couldn’t speak louder. And she had no idea if Miranda heard a thing.
“Tori.” Miranda’s voice was so close, the hairs on Tori’s arms rising as Miranda’s fingers brushed around her without entirely touching her. “No woman is an island. I really do get that now.”
Tori looked up and laughed. “What?”
“I had a very interesting talk with some of your exes this afternoon.”
Tori blinked, the tears stopping as she looked at Miranda’s face.
Miranda gave a quick lift of her eyebrows and a bob of her head. “That’s about how I felt about it as well.”
“Why are you here, Miranda?” Tori’s voice wasn’t much louder, but it was no longer a whisper.
“I want to give us a chance. A real chance.”
“We already tried that.” Tori’s heart deflated like a week-old balloon forgotten in the corner of the room.
“No.” Miranda shook her head, her cheeks taking on a pink tinge. “You tried it, and I fought you every step of the way.”
“It’s not like you suddenly believe in soulmates.” Tori wiped her cheeks furiously, hating that there were still tears rolling down her face. She should be much stronger than this by now, have more defenses against Miranda. But even the idea made her so tired and sore to her bones.
“I never lied when I said I believe in love.” Miranda’s hand was on her arm, holding her lightly, as if she was too scared to really grip her.
“It’s not enough.” Tori was barely able to prevent another sob from tearing through her. She wouldn’t do this again. The last week had been hell, and she couldn’t let Harley see her like this again.
“Love isn’t enough?”
“I’ve tried love. And it works for a while. But it’s not forever.”
“Maybe not, but do you regret any of the love you’ve shared, the love you’ve tried?” Miranda looked at Tori, a stunning expression of confidence on her face.
Tori wondered what exactly was going on in Miranda’s head. Had she found some secret Tori was searching for? She was so confused. This wasn’t the Miranda who had left her cold and alone, battered from the relationship that was doomed to fail from the start.
It was all too much.
“Stop.” Tori shook her head and stepped away. Her legs screamed at her not to start pacing again, and the fire within her that had fueled the short turns and struts was a pit of cold embers now. “Please.”
