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Miranda didn’t move, and a look that threatened to snap Tori’s heart in half crossed her face.
Hurt.
Tori sat on the couch and rested her elbows on her knees. She leaned forward and allowed her curtain of hair to protect her as she tried to reach inside of herself and think through it all. As she tried to process the situation, not just the fact the woman she was in love with was in her living room, telling her she wanted to try again.
Wait. In love?
Tori looked up and blinked again. She looked around Miranda searching.
“Where’s Rebel? Is Tierney back? Is that why you’re willing to do this?” The thoughts jumbled through her in a second, so scattered that she wasn’t sure if they made any sense at all.
“Rebel’s with Siena and Harley.”
“Siena?” Tori squeaked out the word, confused. “What?”
“She’s having a sleepover with Harley. Tierney’s not back. She may come back, and she may not. I don’t know what I’m going to do yet. I know I want to remain a stronger part of Rebel’s life. I want to help parent her, not just when I have no choice.”
“I understand being a parent. I know it’s hard, especially at the beginning, to remember they need you to also be a person, not just their parent. But we tried that, and that’s when it went downhill.” Tori couldn’t break her gaze from Miranda. She looked stunningly perfect, like always. Her hair in soft curls around her shoulders, her jacket buttoned up to protect her from the cold rain, but her shoes pristine, as though untouched by the world outside.
“I’m not perfect, Tori. I don’t always know the right way to do things. I’ve never been shown how to be both a person and a parent. Not until I met you.” Miranda’s shoulders dropped, her face falling. “I wasn’t allowed to be a kid, which made me grow up too fast.”
“I can still help you with that. We don’t have to be together for that.” Fuck, why did she offer that? She wasn’t going to be able to do that. Not without feeling this same pain every time they were in the room together. It’d been why she picked Harley up early all week. To avoid this.
“I know,” Miranda said, her voice so soft and sure. “But I don’t want to be with anyone else.”
“It doesn’t have to be anyone else.” Tori swallowed down the lump in her throat. “But I think maybe, we should just be friends.”
“Friends.” The word was repeated in an almost robotic tone by Miranda.
“I still believe in soulmates, Miranda.” Tori grasped. She had to make her point come across. She wouldn’t put herself on this line again, only to have her heart torn out of her and smashed once more.
“I know.”
“And I know everyone thinks I’m entirely crazy because of it. And yeah, maybe demanding that I have it all wrapped up in a bow by the time I’m thirty is a lot crazy.” Tori sat up straighter, running both hands through her hair, tugging a little with the frustrations warring inside her. “Damn it, I know it is. I don’t like it, but I know it.”
“Tori.” Miranda took half a step closer. “Do you remember how you tried to convince me that soulmates existed?”
“I wanted a kiss, and it was the easiest, cheesiest way to get you to agree.” Tori’s cheeks burned. They’d both known full well what a crock that was when she’d asked it. But it had gotten them what they wanted—at least then it did.
Miranda smiled, her beautiful red-painted lips curling upward in a bow. “Can we try the experiment again? Please.”
Shock reverberated through Tori’s chest. She hadn’t expected that. Miranda was barely even responding to her rant, which was fine because that’s all it was. She wasn’t making much sense anyway. Tori gulped. “You want to kiss me?”
“Yes.” Miranda’s smile blossomed into something else, something Tori hadn’t ever seen before.
“The last time we kissed wasn’t so great.” Tori tried to put her defenses up, to lock them back in place, but she was so bad at it. She wasn’t Miranda with all her walls and moats already built-in.
“I know. But it was never going to be great when I had already pulled back. I took myself out of what was happening between us.” Miranda took another half step closer.
Tori dropped her gaze to her feet, those perfectly uncomfortable heels she always wore, the bright red toes on them that matched her lips and faded into black, the four inches of height added. She dragged her gaze upward, across Miranda’s shapely calves, to her thighs hidden under that black and red skirt. Tori swallowed down the blossoming arousal. Nope. She wouldn’t go there. Miranda always had herself together, not just in appearance but in how she acted.
“Why?” Tori asked, shaking her head.
“Because it scared me. I didn’t want to abandon Rebel just to follow what I needed, to be just another grown-up who put themselves first. I won’t do that to her.”
“No.” Tori laughed, with a slightly maniacal bent to it because this was all crazy, wasn’t it? “Why do you want to try the experiment again?”
“Because no experiment is worth a thing without a follow-up test to ensure the control group wasn’t damaged at the time. Every test needs to be replicated to determine if the results are true.” Miranda smiled, the hint of a flirt flipping Tori’s stomach. “Plus, we have a lot more data to rely on now.”
