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“I guess I never realized my trust would be put to the test so soon or so often,” I say, still reeling with anger. I should’ve realized that if I let myself need her—if I let myself trust her—then I’d be powerless to stop her from thoroughly ruining me if she decides to leave me.
Like my parents did. Like Maxim did. Their loss nearly broke me in half. It took all that I had to pull myself back together and fix the mess their absence created in me. If Kat leaves me, it will destroy me. There’ll be nothing left to fix.
She sighs wearily. “I hate to break it to you, Nik, but that’s exactly why it’s called trust. There’s always going to be an element of uncertainty. You’ll just have to chance on me. On us.”
The coldness and disappointment in her dark blue eyes almost rip me in half. With a sharp pain in my chest, I wonder how it’s possible that we’re looking at each other like this right now when I was lost inside her mere hours ago. I don’t want to lose that Kat, the one who sighed in my arms, showering me with kisses while playfully calling me miliy.
“Dusha moya,” I say, reaching for her hand. My soul. Kat’s ice-cold blue eyes melt slightly at the endearment, and I allow myself to hope. “I don’t want to lose you. I can’t lose you. Believe me, I want nothing more than to see you happy and content, and I’ll do my best to make you feel satisfied with your life. With me. But make no mistake—my priority will always be to keep you safe. Whether you like it or not, I’ll do what it takes to ensure that. Even if it displeases you. I won’t let McGuire, the threat of war among the Seven Families, or the devil himself stand in my way.”
Kat’s face falls, and her disappointed expression gives way to fury. Without another word, she shoots me a disenchanted look before storming away.
16
KAT
The nerve of that man…
Hours after our unfortunate disagreement, the sun rises, announcing the beginning of a new day. But I’m not ready to move on and let go of yesterday’s resentments just yet.
After reliving our argument all night, I’m struggling to forgive Nik for having the audacity to threaten to “do whatever it takes” to keep me safe. As if his judgment of what is good for me is superior to mine. As if I can’t be trusted to take care of myself.
It’s one thing for Nik to be protective and caring. I’ve come to accept that’s an endearing, albeit at times aggravating, part of his personality. Last night, however, was something else entirely. Nik turned into a possessive and controlling jerk right before my eyes. I can’t even begin to imagine what gave him the illusion that I’d ever be this meek and subservient creature he wants me to be. Me, his little submissive girlfriend? I don’t think so. I may have given him a chance to be a part of my life, but I pity the man if he seriously believes I’ll become nothing more than his other half.
Yesterday, I hesitated before leaving the penthouse without giving him a heads-up. Now, I feel validated that I ultimately decided to do so. His overbearing reaction proves that I was right to sneak out.
Truth be told, I hate to put Nik in a position where he will inevitably struggle to subdue his trust issues. But, at some point, a woman must stop making excuses for grown men and their emotional baggage. At some point, Nik has to take responsibility for his personal shortcomings. He must accept that I’m not something he can own—a prize to be added to his collection. Sooner or later, he has to decide if he trusts me or not. He’ll have to choose between keeping his misgivings about who I am or keeping me. I can’t make that decision for him.
Besides, everything I’m doing is to ensure our relationship has a future. I know with every fiber of my being that Nik and I have no shot unless I wipe the slate clean. It’s why I haven’t told him everything yet. Someone has to save Nik from himself. Who else’s going to protect him when he’s busy protecting me? The ridiculous man is ready to start a war to avenge me, even though I’m completely unharmed.
So when A.J. shared with me a promising lead on the Flame of Mir’s location, I jumped at the opportunity to check it out. At least some good news came out of the ordeal. As usual, my friend’s intel was worth its weight in gold. Or, in this case, in diamonds. I know now for a fact that the stronzo was stupid enough to keep the Flame of Mir. Even better—I know where he’s been hiding it.
After my little surveillance session, I rushed home to Nik, giddy and excited to get started on my plan to rescue his diamond. Of course, once I arrived at the penthouse, I was unpleasantly surprised by his temper tantrum. I retired to the guest room after our fight, feeling like I was falling from cloud nine. I even locked the door. I knew it wouldn’t stop Nik if he wanted to come inside, but with any luck, it would at least infuriate him a good deal.
To my great disappointment, it was all for nothing. Nik never even tried to open the door. I would know if he had, since I stayed up most of the night working on my plan for my daring rescue of the Flame of Mir. Truthfully, I also had a feeling that trying to sleep would be a waste of time. My mind couldn’t stop replaying all the horrible things Nik and I said to each other. At least I put my restlessness to good use, letting it fuel me to power through my project.
As the first hints of dawn begin to populate the sky, I finally feel satisfied with my plans. I force myself to lie on the massive bed that occupies the guest room and at least try to get some sleep. God knows I’ll need all my energy to deal with Nik and the stronzo today.
Just as I start to succumb to exhaustion, my phone rings. With a groan, I pick it up, deliriously thinking for a second that maybe it’s Nik, ready to beg me for forgiveness. Why he would call me instead of bursting through the door, I couldn’t say. Instead, A.J.’s voice greets me when I hoarsely croak hello.
“Hey, girl! How did it go yesterday?” she asks. In my exhausted state, her cheerful tone sounds like nails against a chalkboard.
“It went great. Thanks again.”
“Are you okay? You don’t sound like yourself.”
“Yeah. Sorry. I’m still half-asleep.”
“Did your new boyfriend keep you up all night with his reportedly amazing lovemaking skills?” she asks in a teasing tone.
I scoff. “As if. No, I stayed up working. By myself. Trust me—if I hadn’t, the only thing Nik and I would’ve been busy doing is driving each other crazy. Probably through the break of dawn. And not in a good way.”
“Uh-oh. Trouble in paradise? What happened? You were so into him last time we talked.”
I sigh. “I still am. God help me. It’s just…We had a major fight last night. Long story short, I guess you were right after all. I can’t completely let my guard down around him just yet. I need to look out for myself. Don’t get me wrong—I’m still hoping for the best. But after last night, I’m a little concerned. Let’s just say that his overprotectiveness and his need to be in control of all things—including yours truly—cannot be overstated.”
A.J. whistles. “Wow. Damn, Kat. I wish I could say I’m surprised, but knowing his background, how could I be? Still, you know I’m here for you, right? If you need me to come to your rescue, all you have to do is say the word, and I’ll be there.”
“I know, honey. I know. And I appreciate that—and you—so much. But I’m fine. Really. I think I can handle him. Or at least I hope so. I’m not ready to give up just yet.”
