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"I have a surprise for you." I smile, but my heart is heavy for her.
"What's that?" She perks up a little.
"Today we can do anything you want to do. We can go anywhere or do anything."
She looks at me, tilting her head, thinking about what I've said.
I bite my lip then say. "Elle if you are uncomfortable today we can do it another day? Any day. You can rest now if you need to."
"No." She says quickly, with force. "I want to do something today."
"Elle, I don't know if it's a good idea for you to go out somewhere."
"I don't need to go out. I know what I want."
"OK - what do you want?" I ask skeptically. Her immune system is so low I'm suddenly terrified at the thought of taking her out into public.
"I want a picnic. With all my favorite food and all my teddy bears."
"A picnic?" I laugh.
"Yes, on a blanket in the sunshine. I saw the garden through the window. It's really big, Mom. We can have a picnic right here in the garden."
I grin, my heart feeling happy again. "Yes, that we can definitely do. Do you want to give me a list of all your favorite foods?"
"Ok. You have to give me like ten minutes. Then I'll have the list ready. And I want to wear my blue dress, the ballerina one. And my glitter boots."
"OK, baby. I'll get that out for you and come back in ten minutes to get that list."
With Elle's list in my hand, I reluctantly go looking for Stefano. He promised to organize this for her. I find him in his office, typing on his laptop.
"Stefano?" I ask nervously.
"Yes." He snaps.
"Elle has requested a picnic. She made a list of her favorite foods."
"In the garden here?"
"Yes."
"Leave the list on my desk. The picnic will be ready for you two at lunchtime."
I put the list on his desk and back out quickly.
He fills me with dread and reminds me of what I did last night.
I couldn't even look in the mirror this morning I feel so guilty about it still.
At lunch time the housekeeper comes through to Elle's room where I'm helping Elle into her favorite dress.
"Miss Amelia. Miss Elle - your picnic is ready in the garden."
"Yay." Elle squeals in delight, bolting away from me.
"Baby, don't run," I shout after her, picking up the armfuls of teddy bears she chose to join us.
I carry them out to the garden and find Elle already sitting on the blanket with her pink elephant next to her.
