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Swallowing my fear, I step closer and wrap my arms around him. My cheek presses against his warm back, and I just hold him. I shove the lingering animosity into my gut, and I close my eyes as I mentally beg him to accept me.
His body relaxes in my arms, and his hand closes over mine. As his breathing begins to slow, I think I’ve finally gotten through to him. Then he turns and clamps his hand around my throat.
Chapter Thirty-Two
Kane
My panic stems from never having the clear picture of what makes my body respond like this. I feel and see bits and pieces of something I never truly understand, and it causes a rage to grow until it overflows. That’s why my hand is around her throat. That’s why I’m squeezing.
A blinding pain pierces my head, and for the first time, memories rush to me. Crystal clear. Painfully clear. In an attempt to stop me from strangling Aurora, Tobin opened the box and let my demons loose, and I can see everything my stepmother and her sister did to me.
The touching.
The fucking.
The outright abuse of a goddamn child.
I release her and drop to my knees. I’m trapped in my trauma, gasping for air as I’m shoved into some dark place I never wanted to be. I see and feel the abuse as if it’s happening right now. Warm hands wrap around me, and I’m too frozen in place to stop them. People who were supposed to care for me. People who were supposed to protect me. They did neither.
Aurora drops to her knees beside me, and her voice penetrates the memories. “Kane, I’m here. I’m here with you and you’re going to be okay.”
Her voice lacks its usual snark with an edge of mega bitch, and I allow myself to feel the comfort in her words. Her arms wrap around me, and she holds me until the visions recede into my mind and my breathing steadies.
She pulls my head against her chest. After everything I’ve done to her, after all the hell and torment I’ve put her through, she’s by my side, offering her strength to me. “Not every touch is a bad touch anymore, Kane. You’re past that. You’re safe now.”
You’re. Safe. Now.
I latch onto those words as they repeat in my mind. I haven’t felt safe in a long time. I’ve been a victim of my trauma all my life, including this very moment.
Tobin showed me these things to stop me from hurting Aurora. He’s supposed to protect me, not her. But maybe, in some fucked up way, he’s protecting me too. Losing Aurora would hurt more than I care to admit. He also recognizes more than I give him credit for. He’s forcing me to confront my memories with someone who is willing to comfort me and help me deal with the fallout. I’ve never accepted comfort. Not once. But her warmth soothes me in ways I never knew were possible.
My vision becomes my own again, and I see her messy auburn hair and bright eyes full of concern. If I were her, I would have taken this freakout as yet another opportunity to run. But here she is, sitting in front of me as she tries to talk me off a ledge.
“Told you I could break through to you,” she says with a smirk and a light laugh.
Jesus, this girl doesn’t quit trying to irritate me. But a strained laugh comes from my chest. A chest that is still caught in a stranglehold of emotions.
Aurora leans closer, and my body tenses. She brings her hand up to my neck and draws my face toward hers. So much of what’s inside me wants to push her away, to hurt her for wanting to get close to me, but some new feeling urges me to let this happen.
Her lips are so near mine now, and as her eyes close and her lips form a perfect pout, I pray to the devil that my body knows what to do with her. Then she closes that last half inch, and her warm lips are on me.
My brain is silenced the moment her lips touch mine. The memories and terror recede to their box as I focus on her scent and how she tastes. She smells like sweat and fear, a scent I usually kill for, but that homicidal rage is nowhere inside me now. Or if it is, it’s buried beneath a concrete slab of need. I spread my lips and for the first time in my life, I kiss the girl.
I push her down on her back and kiss her again. She whimpers as she tugs down her pants and throws them to the side. I can only hope she remembers that I’m not Jax or Tobin. I’m surprised I’m even still hard as her hands reach for the front of my jeans and work them down. She pulls out my cock, her warm touch making me groan. I thrust my hips forward into her hand, just wanting to feel more of her. The motion feels so immature, but these feelings, these actions, are so new to me.
I sit up on my knees and spread her legs. The pussy I hated to look at looks different when I have the chance to slip inside it. It’s not just something Tobin and Jax get to play with now. At this moment, it’s mine.
I draw back my hips. My cock slides along the length of her slit before I thrust forward and push inside her. It’s fucking heaven. She’s so warm and wet. I can see why Jax and Tobin are so obsessed with her. Something so incredible should be illegal.
Considering my inexperience, I expect to move slowly and be gentle, but my body drives me to fuck her harder. I push deeper, and the soft moan that leaves her lips lets me know this is what she needs too.
“Call me daddy, dropout. Tell me how you like my cock.”
“I love your cock, daddy,” she pants. This time it’s not snarky like at the diner or in the grave. She’s saying it with pleasure woven into the word. Pleasure she’s getting from me, a man who’s been incapable of offering anything but pain.
With a timid hand, I raise her shirt and look at her breasts. As lust rushes over me in a wave, I’m amazed to find no anger in these waters. Only desire. My hands move toward her nipples, and I pinch and twist as she writhes beneath me.
She feels so amazing, and I want to experience her from every angle. Like a man in a desert, I want to drown myself in the oasis that is uniquely hers. I flip her onto her hands and knees, then slip inside her again with an unstifled groan. She feels even better from behind.
