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“Why, Kane?” That’s all I can manage to say.
He runs his hand through his hair and shakes his head. “I’ll explain everything, but we can’t hang around a fucking crime scene. We need to get out of here.”
“I’m not going anywhere until you give me a good reason for fucking selling me!”
He grabs his knife from Victor’s throat and tucks it into his waistband. Then he comes toward me. Before I know what’s happening, he’s hoisted me over his shoulder and started up the stairs. I pound against his back, but it’s like hitting a brick wall. I’m the only one getting hurt. I stop pounding and go limp as we pass another dead body and exit the house through the kitchen.
Once we’re outside, he sets me on my feet. “We’re covered in blood. We can’t wash up here, so we’ll have to be careful as we move back to the truck. If anyone sees us?—”
“Us? We? What part of what I said didn’t make it through your thick skull? Our fun little road trip ended as soon as you decided to sell me to the highest fucking bidder!”
He rushes toward me, turns me around, and pulls me against his chest with his hand over my mouth. “Keep your fucking voice down. I promise I’ll take you back to your home in New York, but I want you to hear me out first. Your other option is to beg for a ride somewhere else, and I can guarantee no one is going to help you when you’ve got someone’s blood all over you.”
He makes a good point.
I relax in his arms, and he releases me. We spend the next thirty minutes cutting a path through overgrown backyards attached to what appear to be abandoned houses. He chooses our route carefully, analyzing the way forward before taking a step in any direction. We’re both winded by the time we reach the truck. He bends near the step beside the driver’s side door, fishes around beneath the metal, and pulls a small black box from underneath. He tosses it into the bushes and opens the door. The sun begins to rise as we climb inside.
Kane tosses a rag to me, and we begin cleaning the blood from our skin as Pup scampers around our feet. I don’t reach down to pat her until I’m all clean and dressed in a change of clothes.
I sit on the bed and wait for the explanation I’m owed. It doesn’t matter in the long run, I guess. I’ve made up my mind, and I want nothing more to do with any of them. But curiosity gets the better of me, and I want to hear what he has to say, even if it won’t change anything.
When he’s all clean, he comes and sits beside me on the bed. “I won’t deny that I sold you. That part is true. But I tried to call off the deal.”
“You didn’t try very hard.”
“Why do you think they had to come and kidnap you?”
I don’t have a good answer for that.
“Exactly. I told them I no longer had the package—you—but they wouldn’t listen. They were tracking me.”
I turn to face him now. “Did Jax and Tobin know?”
He nods. “They knew, but they couldn’t stop it. They have a duty to protect me, and that meant they couldn’t do anything that would potentially get me killed. They have autonomy and can make their own choices, but it only goes so far.”
“So why did you come for me?” I ask the question even though I’m afraid of the answer.
“For Jax and Tobin.”
“Not for yourself?”
He stands and begins pacing. “I don’t know, dropout. I’m not exactly fond of you.”
For the first time, I see just how difficult it is for this man to discuss his feelings. It’s not a matter of want. It’s an impossibility.
Kane stops pacing and begins rubbing his eyes. I’ve seen him do this before when Tobin or Jax try to come through. They’re trying to protect him. From what? Feelings?
Despite everything he’s done, I can’t stop my heart from aching at the sight of his struggle. And even though I want to continue being mad at him—at all of them—I can’t. He said he tried to stop the deal, and I believe him. He came after me. He saved me. Now I need to help him.
“Kane, come sit down,” I say. “We don’t have to talk about anything else if you don’t want to. I...believe you.” Fuck, that was hard to admit, but I have to do what’s best for him right now.
“No, you don’t understand,” he mumbles. “And no matter how much I want to make you understand, I can’t, because I don’t even understand. I live with so much anger inside me, and I don’t even know why. I only know that I don’t want to know more. Do you know what that’s like? Do you have any idea?”
I shake my head because no, I don’t understand. I can’t. But I want to.
On shaking legs, I stand and go to him. It’s a risky move. He’ll probably turn around and beat me to death with his fists, but I have to try. I have to connect with him, and nothing is more powerful than touch. People connect on so many levels, but touch is universal.
It’s also the one thing that sends Kane over the edge.
