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Ryland and I follow James into the cabin. The searing heat that lanced through my chest as he walked away from Garnet nearly knocked me off my feet. There’s no way they had a decent conversation, especially with the way she calls after him as he walked away. Luca runs to her side, and I follow Ryland. Maybe running from her tears is cowardly, but I’d rather face someone I can punch than to watch her cry.
Once inside the cabin, I spare a glance at Grammy and Trevan. Grammy nods at me and grabs the Fae man’s hand, dragging him outside. I would guess they’ll go back to her place, but at this point, I really don’t care. I stalk back to the bedroom where Ryland is facing off with James.
“What did you say to her?” Ryland asks, his hand around James’ throat with the human pressed against the wall.
“I told her the truth. This is a mistake. I shouldn’t be here. I don’t belong. I’m not one of you,” James spits. Pain stabs through my chest again, and Ryland rubs the identical spot on his chest. He feels it too. Mate bond rejection is something we’ve never experienced until now. If James leaves, it could destroy Garnet.
“You think so little of us? We’re your pack. You are one of us now. Our mate claimed you. That makes you family, idiot. Stop being a jerk and go apologize to her,” Ryland insists.
“Go tell her you didn’t mean it,” I say. I know he did, though, because I already feel the emptiness where his bond used to be. I rub at my chest.
“I did mean it, though. I shouldn’t be here. I’m not enough for her.” His voice breaks with his words, and I know that he’s feeling the pain too. A damaged mate bond is one thing, but James destroyed this one. I’m not even sure that we could repair this if we could change his mind.
“This will destroy her,” I whisper, still rubbing the stabbing pain on my chest. I want to reach in and rip my own heart out to make it stop.
“It’s already destroyed me. Please, just let me go. You’re all better off this way,” he begs. Tears slide down his face. Ryland lets him go, and James walks out. He’s leaving, and we’re not stopping him.
“We can’t let him go,” I say to Ryland.
“We don’t have a choice. You can’t force someone into a mate bond, and you can’t keep them there if they don’t want to be. All we can do now is comfort Red and hope he changes his mind before it’s too late.” Ryland’s words echo in my head.
I nod and follow him outside where Luca holds Garnet as she cries. James is nowhere to be seen, and I know it’s already too late. He’s gone, and there’s nothing we can do about it.
JAMES
Walking away from Garnet is the hardest thing I’ve ever done. But nothing I said to her was untrue; I know it in my heart. I’m not like her other mates. I don’t fit here. A human in a world of magic and shifters will never work. I can’t just stay and pretend that everything is okay. I have to give her a chance to survive this fight. And the only chance she has is without me.
I wipe the tears from my eyes as I race down the path toward the edge of the forest. I already let the lease on my apartment go, but I can stay with Dec for now. I’ll get things sorted and move on. Somehow. I rub my hand over my heart, where the pain is growing in intensity. I feel as if I might die.
I don’t know enough about mate bonds to fully understand what’s happening. My body aches, and the further I get from Garnet, the more pain I’m in. If I can’t find a way to make it stop, I might not survive.
I must push through. I’m doing this for her good, not mine. For once in my life, I’m not going to be selfish in a relationship. I’ll do what I should have done after the first time we kissed. Walking away isn’t easy, but I can’t go back.
She won’t defeat Amber with me by her side. I’ll only hinder her ability. I’m the reason her magic went wonky anyway. It’s my fault. This is the only way to protect her. If I really love her, I have to leave.
The words echo in my head, and I struggle with the weight of them. I’m hearing my own voice, but it sounds off somehow. I believe the things I’m telling myself, even though it’s as if someone else is saying them. I shake that thought away, stopping at the edge of the forest.
The pain is so intense that I’m barely able to remain upright. I have to get out of here before Ryland, Orym, or Luca comes for me. They don’t understand. They can’t. I’m not enough, and I never will be. All I can do now is leave so that Garnet is better off.
She deserves so much more than I could ever give her. She’s worthy of a mate who can protect her; someone who has been touched by magic instead of a weak, worthless human. I’ll never be good enough for her.
I continue to berate myself, fighting against the pain, as I climb into one of the SUVs, hotwire it, and head into the city toward Midnight. There’s one person in the world who might understand, and that’s my brother. I need him now more than ever.
I don’t know what caused my sudden realization, but I’m glad that I left when I did. No matter how much it hurts me, I know that Garnet is safer without me. She’ll be stronger without me too.
At least that’s what I tell myself. I refuse to admit that I’m terrified of dying, or of watching her die. I can’t face Amber because I can’t defeat her, and I won’t watch the people I love fail. My heart can’t take that pain.
GARNET
The moment James walks away, my heart shatters. Pain lances through me, and I can’t even think. His words were painful enough, but his actions tear through our bond. I can’t feel him anymore. In the place where he should be is nothing but searing agony.
I collapse on the ground, my magic going crazy along with my emotions. How could he think this is what I want? What could have made him leave me like that? I saved him. And now he’s leaving me. Why?
I can’t deal with my other mates trying to comfort me. Nothing can heal this wound. I might as well lay here and die for as much as this hurts. I’ll never defeat Amber now. Not with a piece of my heart missing. There’s no way for us to win this battle. I should just go to her and surrender myself. Then the pain would stop at least.
But I know I can’t do that, no matter how compelling the thought is. I have to find a way to fight for what’s right. Once Amber is dealt with, then I can die. Unless I’m not strong enough to kill her, and she takes me out instead.
This situation is my biggest fear come to life. I don’t know how to go on without James here. Logically, it makes no sense. I should be able to get up and keep moving forward, no matter how badly this hurts. But the mate bond changes everything.
