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I will not beg. I will not go down on my knees for this man.
“What do you want, Kevin?” I ask him.
I have never wanted to ask him that question since we broke up. I wanted to be done with him.
But now I have to ask him.
It’s like all the work I’ve done to get away from him has been for absolutely nothing.
“I want you, Josie.”
“No, Kevin.”
“Yes. And now you have no choice, Josie. Either come back to me or I’ll release this agreement and destroy Victor.”
“That’s not the basis of a good relationship, Kevin. You’re smart enough to know that. What do you truly want?”
He must’ve thought I’d come pleading to him once he revealed the ace up his sleeve. The fact I’m not currently doing so is clearly unbalancing him.
“I don’t like losing,” he whispers. “And I lost you.”
I take in a deep breath.
“You haven’t lost anything,” I say.
“No?”
“No,” I reply. “You’ve got the chance for a whole new life. You should just move on past us. Our marriage is over, Kevin, and it’s time you saw that. It’s time for you to face reality.”
I’m not even talking to him.
I’m talking to myself.
I’m talking about myself. To me.
I should move on. I have the chance for a whole new life. I can’t spend it worrying about Victor or babies or my job or my divorce.
“Josie...”
Kevin is still trying. He’s refusing to see the reality that I can now see.
“I no longer want the money back,” I tell him calmly. “We can just remain separated all our lives if needs be. I will sign whatever divorce papers you give me. I don’t care anymore. Truthfully, I don’t. I just wish the best for you. I just hope you live a happy life, free from addiction.”
“Really, Josie?”
“I don’t care about Victor. I don’t care if you go to the press. This is over. I’m tired of all of this. I want nothing from you, Kevin. I’m going to live my life free from you or Victor. I’m going to live my life on my own terms.”
My ex-husband just gawks after me in shock as I turn around and walk away.
And it’s true what I said - I really don’t care anymore.
Not about him.
Not about Victor.
I can make my life whatever I want it to be, even with no money or job security. Even with a shitty apartment and no babies.
I can do what I want.
