AllFreeNovel
Share Us
On my own terms.
73
VICTOR
My phone rings. It’s my agent calling.
I take a slow moment to answer it. I’m in no hurry. I’m sitting on the edge of my bed, overlooking Miami in this nameless, soulless, luxury hotel with nothing on my mind – even as my phone rings. I have no plans today or tonight. I’ve booked no appointments... I’m seeing no one. I’m not even listening to music or watching TV. I’m just sitting here in silence. I feel very alone.
Empty.
I am surrounded by excess, but I don’t feel a thing.
Boohoo, the famous actor is feeling something even with all the money in the world.
A few months ago, I would’ve laughed at the emotional predicament I find myself in. I would’ve probably punched myself for being a stupid loser.
But I am feeling one thing as I sit here with my phone buzzing. It takes me a moment to truly realize what it is - loss.
That’s what I’m feeling.
Meanwhile, my agent seems to be over the moon.
“Victor! My man, my champion.”
“What’s up?”
“You’ve only gone and done it, my boy. You’ve been nominated.”
“Ah.”
The Best Actor award. That’s what my agent is raving about. I’ve been shortlisted for it. This phone call should be the highlight of my professional career, so why don’t I feel a thing?
“Congratulations, Victor. I will take you out for dinner next time you’re in LA. All we need now is for you to actually win this thing, which I’m sure you will. This is the next step, baby. We’re going all the way!”
I hear the sound of champagne bottles being popped open in the background.
“That is great news,” I reply robotically. No enthusiasm - not even much thought paid to what this phone call means.
My agent doesn’t notice the dispassion in my voice - he is too preoccupied with celebrations to pay attention to my lack of emotion.
He has every right to be happy. So do I.
I just don’t feel a thing.
“I’ll call you back tomorrow,” he says, laughing joyfully.
“Sounds like a plan,” I reply.
I hang up and continue to stare aimlessly at the incredible view over Florida.
Something is missing. Something is causing this loss in my heart.
And I know who she is.
74
JOSIE
