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Did that mean I was going to tell him everything, confess all of my sins to him? Hell no. He might be the one to understand, but he couldn’t handle it. It wasn’t like he could take Ray off my hands. Ray was…Ray. No one could beat him.
“I can handle my own problems,” I said. “I wish you guys would understand that and leave me alone.” I’d pretty much already told them to fuck off, so I didn’t know what else I could do. These guys were not getting the hint, and it was annoying. Didn’t they know they were safer without me? If I was just Declan’s roommate, not a girl out to steal their hearts?
“Sometimes you need help,” Travis went on, oblivious to my palpable unease. “There are problems you can’t face alone. You’re smart enough to know that.”
And I was. I knew sometimes things were easier with help, with a team, with a group of guys standing steadfastly behind me. Ray was not one of those problems. Ray was an apocalypse, the end to everything I knew. Ray was the end for me, and anyone who stood near me when he came would only end up facing his wrath as well.
“And you’re smart enough to know that when a girl says no, she means no,” I shot him an annoyed, exasperated look. “Some problems you can’t fix, Travis. Sometimes life is just fucked up, and there’s nothing you can do about it besides ride it out.”
Ride it out, or let it derail and kill you. Either way, Travis wouldn’t be able to help me. Either way, I was fucked in all kinds of awful ways.
We made it to my dorm building, and I was just about to go into the stairwell when Travis set a hand on my shoulder, spinning me. He had me pinned against the wall near the door within the next moment, his sapphire eyes gazing down at me with an intensity that still set a fire in my lower stomach.
God, this one…this one still drew me in like the others just couldn’t. Even though I regretted everything I’d ever done with Ray, Travis had me in his web, ready to pounce on me. I was the prey and he was the hunter, and unlike a lot of people, I enjoyed being the prey when it came to men like Travis.
My undoing, really.
My skateboard was between us, stopping him from touching me completely, holding off his chest from leaning against mine. Even though I knew what I had to do—say goodbye to these guys—I knew the moment I felt his hips on mine, I’d lose it. I’d lose what little willpower I had.
“I told you if you don’t tell me what’s going on that I was going to figure it out myself,” Travis said, reminding me of his previous words. “And I meant every word, Ash. If you don’t fess up, I’m going to start digging. My family has connections.”
Again, his mysterious family. The part of me that was dying to know just what his family did was quieted by the part of me that feared Ray’s wrath more.
“Do you really want me to start digging up your past? I think it would be better for the both of us if you came clean now.” Travis’s gaze fell to my lips, and I watched him run his tongue over his bottom lip, sensual and enticing. The action made my already warm gut burn with the intensity of a thousand stars.
Those chains in his room could be used for some fun things…
If he dug up my past, what would he find? Would he be able to find a mention of Ray somewhere? His family and their connections…surely if I was able to hide Ray from everyone important to me, an outside group wouldn’t be able to discover anything either? At this point, I knew better than to hope. When you hoped for something, you only ended up utterly disappointed.
I didn’t say anything, mostly because at this point there was nothing left to say. The horse was long dead, and we all took turns beating it with our own weapons of choice. By the time we were done with this particular horse, it would be nothing but crushed up bones.
Travis’s body leaned against my skateboard, pressing the flat side against my chest and causing me to inhale sharply. His head bent down, his nose grazing mine. His arms rested on the walls around me, blocking me in. No escape from him now, no running. Face to face with the monster that was Travis, and it was only because I was used to looking monsters in the face that I wasn’t scared.
Oh, no. Not scared at all.
Just really turned on.
“You should know by now that nothing can scare me away from you,” Travis murmured. “Nothing. Whatever you’re hiding, I can handle it. I want you to be mine, Ash, and I’ll be waiting for the day you realize you want it, too.” His lips closed the distance between us, and I was too lost in everything that was Travis to pay attention to our surroundings.
My eyes closed, and I nearly dropped the skateboard. Losing myself in Travis was too easy, far too easy and effortless, almost as if it was made to be. So what if he and Sabrina were getting it on behind Declan’s back? So what if he had her journal? So what if his obsession with me ran a little deep? It didn’t make him guilty. It wasn’t like I wanted my forever in Travis—I wasn’t that stupid. I knew I wouldn’t be so lucky to get a forever with anyone. My past wouldn’t allow it.
Still, it was ridiculously nice to feel his warm lips on mine, to breath in his smoky scent and taste the tobacco on his tongue as it snaked between my parted lips and danced with mine. My nerves were on fire, desperately wanting him to yank the skateboard away, throw me over his shoulders and take me somewhere private. This time, if he locked me in chains I wouldn’t run away. This time I’d let him do whatever the hell he wanted to me.
I really was losing my shit, wasn’t I? Normal girls didn’t have thoughts like those.
Travis was the one who broke the kiss first, his breathing harder than it was a few moments ago. “You,” he whispered, voice husky in all the ways that made me shiver in the best kind of anticipation, “even after all this time, I can’t figure you out.”
It was funny how just a kiss could send me skyrocketing off the deep end.
“Is that a bad thing?” I asked, noticing how he didn’t step away. If the skateboard wasn’t between us, I knew for a fact I’d feel every hard inch of him against me—and I knew I’d love it. So, really, it was a damn good thing that skateboard was there.
Not going to lie, I wanted it to be a bad thing.Right now the skateboard was my only saving grace.
Travis sent me a crooked smile with picture-perfect teeth. He finally stepped back, giving me room to breathe as he cocked his head and studied me. I bet I looked strange: clinging to the wall, holding onto my skateboard for dear life, my lips a tad puffy and pink from our sudden, hungry kiss. “No, I like the challenge as much as anyone.” He reached for me, trailing a single finger along my jaw. “And besides, it’ll only make it sweeter when I finally have you.”
So confident, but not in the annoying way Sawyer was. Travis was smoother than his old friend, somehow. Or at least I thought he was. I watched him turn on his heel and leave, still feeling his mouth on mine.
Damn it.
