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These guys refused to take me pushing them away sitting down. They couldn’t just sit back and let it happen. No, no—that would be too silly. Of course they all had to fight for me in their own ways. Travis and Declan, I mean. Not Sawyer, because Sawyer was apparently done.
I let out a sigh before turning to head into the stairwell. I’d wanted to say goodbye to these guys, push them away to save them from Ray, but it seemed like my plan wasn’t working. They refused to be pushed away; they were pushing back, in the opposite direction. They were pushing me.
That could only mean one thing.
A truckload of shit was going to go down, and when it did, it wasn’t going to be pretty.
Chapter Eighteen – Ash
It was Friday afternoon, and Kelsey was on her way. I had no idea why Kelsey refused to listen to the voice of reason, but it was official. She’d be here within a few hours, and I’d be stuck doing whatever it was she wanted, because she was having a rough time at her college, too. It was fine, of course; I was her friend and I wanted to be there for her…I just really wished it wasn’t reaching a climax when my life was spiraling.
Both me and Kelsey having a shit hard time simultaneously, go figure.
Declan sat at his desk, his laptop closed. Normally he was online doing homework or watching funny videos with his headphones on, but right now he stared squarely at me. I, on the other hand, had my phone in my lap and was attempting to lose myself in whatever stupid social media platform I could. I hadn’t posted anything in a long while, and I wondered how the hell Ray found me.
Mom was fine, oblivious to Ray by the way she talked during our phone calls. Trust me, if my mom knew about him, she’d let me have it. Mom wasn’t the type of person to hold things back. I’d gotten it from her.
“And she can’t come some other weekend?” Declan asked, not for the first time. “I’m supposed to go visit Will once my dad gets off. I think they’re letting him out soon.” Meaning, in other words, he wanted me to go with him again.
No. I’d gone with him once, and that was more than enough. If Ray attacked Will—and I sure as shit didn’t see any other explanation for it—I couldn’t linger around Will. Doing so would only make Ray think Will needed to be taught another lesson, a la Travis style, only worse. Ray’s style of punishment was a lot worse than Travis’s, I knew that much.
“Trust me, I’ve tried to tell her now isn’t a good time, but she’s having none of it,” I said, talking straight to my phone. This past week had sucked so much ass; I just hoped that Kelsey coming here wasn’t the finale to the shit show. “She’s already on her way, and she’ll be here around seven. At least if the rust bucket doesn’t break down.”
That car…maybe it would break down. Was it wrong of me to hope?
“The rust bucket?” Declan echoed, smiling softly. I saw the smile with my peripherals and refused to look at it head-on. No more cute Declan smiles for me. No more random hugging or cuddling after panic attacks. No more hungry kisses, between me and any of the guys.
Just…no more in general.
Easier said than done, though.
“Yeah, it’s what we call her car. If you see it, you’ll know why.” Kelsey always figured if she made fun of it, other people couldn’t…or at the very least their words wouldn’t weigh so much on her. Can’t make fun of her for something she already knew was a target of ridicule. In this town, though, she might meet her match. The rust bucket was unlike any car on these roads or in Hillcrest parking lots.
Mainly due to the, uh, insane amount of rust on it.
“Where is she going to sleep?” Declan asked, rubbing the back of his neck in an awkward gesture. I pretended not to notice the way his shirt rode up a bit, revealing hints of his flat stomach. He wasn’t as muscular as Sawyer or even Will, but he was lean in all the ways that counted. “I guess she can have my bed, unless you want to give her yours…in which case you’re more than welcome to my bed.”
Okay, I knew I was trying not to look at him, but when he fumbled so cutely, it was hard not to want to watch.
“She’s sleeping in my bed,” I said, giving him a strange look.
“I can sleep on the floor.”
“No,” I said, chuckling to myself. “Kelsey and I are going to share my bed, and you can keep yours all manly over there.” We’d been best friends for what felt like forever, and anytime she slept over my house—er, apartment—we always split the bed. Hard to do when we’re talking about twin size beds, but it was what it was.
Kelsey, at least, had lived in a house. Her parents weren’t exactly rich, but they had more money than we did. She didn’t have to work to help pay the household bills like I did. I hated that I felt guilty for coming to school, for making my mom lose that supplemental income. During our phone calls, she always claimed to be doing fine, and I hoped with all of my heart she wasn’t just saying that so I could focus on school. My mom was that kind of person.
“You really think my bed is manly?” Declan asked, a full-blown smile gracing his face. “I try, you know, to keep it as manly as possible.”
I held back a laugh. “Ah, to lure all the girls in?”
“Just one, actually,” Declan said, the smile fading on his lips. “There’s only one girl I want to lure in, and I feel like she’s the hardest one to catch of them all.”
Oh, yeah. In the Pokémon world, I’d be the special event one. The one normal people couldn’t catch unless they went out of their way to get a special code. And if I was a fish? I’d be Loch Ness, something people claimed to have seen but never caught.
“Maybe,” I said, “you should give up trying to catch her and move on to someone else. There’s a lot of fish out there. Another one is bound to suit your fancy.” I was practically begging him to move on.
This whole week had been a whirlwind. All of my encounters with the guys had only made me feel more confused. I didn’t want to be caught between a rock that was Ray and a hard place made up of Will, Declan, Travis and fucking Sawyer. If there was one thing I needed right now, it was simplicity. If I could just focus on my best friend coming and not the way I felt around these broken boys—none of whom I knew I could trust, not really—I’d be great.
