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Yeah, that last one especially.
Three things that would never happen, but that was fine. Not everyone got their happy ending. I wasn’t stupid enough to believe that. Coming from money, I knew there were some sacrifices you had to make.
I wasn’t good at sacrifice. I didn’t do the whole righteous, self-sacrificing bit.
Once she was gone, I breathed in deeply, trying to forget it. Forget her, forget all the things I wanted to do to her. This was my life, and I had to deal with it. I had to be who I was, and fuck everything else.
I needed a fucking drink.
Chapter Seventeen – Ash
All through class, I couldn’t believe what Sawyer said to me. The bastard. He thought his life was so full of problems, huh? He thought he needed to tell me he was done so he could focus on losing himself to whatever illegal pill he was on? Fuck that. Fuck him. I didn’t need him trying to act all goody-goody suddenly.
He was Sawyer Salvatore, and Sawyer Salvatore didn’t act like a pussy. He acted like a dick. Like a big, raging dick without a mind of his own. He thought with his dick most of the time, too. He was basically just a big dick walking around on two legs.
Ugh. Fuck that guy. Fuck him so hard.
When class let out, I was the first to pack up my shit and go. I clutched my skateboard so hard it might break in half. I bustled through the halls, wanting to get out of this place. Out of this building, out of Hillcrest—hell, even out of planet earth. Me getting off this planet was the only way I’d be able to truly get away from Ray, I think.
Sawyer thought he had problems of his own? Problems that rivaled mine? Fuck him. He had no idea what I was going through, and judging from what he said, he didn’t remember me coming to him that night. The bastard was too strung out on whatever he was taking to remember me being there.
Fuck. It was a damn good thing I didn’t let anything between us happen.
When I made it out of the building, I set down my skateboard, about to skate away, but I froze the moment I saw a tattooed Travis sitting on a nearby bench, his ankle on his knee, a cigarette in his hand. It was as if he was waiting for me, and I shot him a glare.
Did he think I’d wait for him? No, I’d skate away and…
Travis got up, moving like a predator on the hunt, too fast for me. He set a foot on the tip of my skateboard, stopping me from going anywhere. He snatched the cigarette out of his mouth, exhaling a smoke-filled breath as he said, “Let me walk with you.”
What the hell was with these guys today? First Sawyer, now him? I didn’t think I could take much more of this.
Seeing as how I didn’t have any choice in the matter, I said, “Fine.” As I said it, I looked all around, expecting to see my ex nearby, standing with his arms crossed, a look of murder on his face. But Ray was nowhere to be seen. The more time that went by, the more I started to feel like I was crazy.
I didn’t make him up. He really did get off on a technicality. Google didn’t lie…at least, not about that.
Travis stepped off my skateboard, blue eyes intense as he watched me bend to pick it up. He dropped his cigarette on the ground, smashing it with his heel before we started walking.
“You know, I’m perfectly capable of going to class on my own,” I told him, shooting him a glare. His black hair looked almost blue in the sun, the light making his skin seem tanner, his tribal tattoos darker. He was a handsome man, regardless of whether or not he was a little off his rocker.
My kind of trouble. I still hated myself for knowing that’s what he was and not realizing that my kind of trouble just might get me dead. After what happened with Ray, you’d think I’d have a better survival instinct.
“That remains to be seen,” Travis remarked. “You are remarkably unpredictable. I wouldn’t put it past you to try to run again. When I can, I want to be with you to be sure you’re not doing anything else that’s ridiculously stupid.”
I wanted to sock him right in the jaw. In his square, perfectly defined jaw.
“Shut up,” I muttered.
We were both quiet for a while, meandering along. Travis must’ve been done with classes for now, for he set the pace, and it was ungodly slow. A snail could crawl faster than this. It killed me to be here with him, especially after what Sawyer said.
He was done.
Well, fuck-a-doodle-do. He was done? I was done. I was done before this whole thing was even on my radar. I had my own problems, and until recently, I thought I could actually move on. But that was life for you: it came to kick you down when you weren’t expecting it, and when you tried to get back up to give it another go, it took out a chainsaw and cut you into tiny, manageable pieces.
Life could fuck me in the ass for all I cared right now. Life could go jump off a bridge, and I’d say sayonara.
“Ash,” Travis spoke quietly, his voice practically getting lost by the wind, “you do realize I’m not going anywhere until you tell me what’s wrong? Something is clearly wrong here, I’m not so dense that I don’t see it.”
Out of everyone, Travis was probably the one who would understand. Travis was a little dark, a bit twisted; out of the guys in my life, he would be the one to not run away after finding out about Ray.
