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By all accounts Smith looked like he was lazing back in his chair, forearms resting on the padded armrest, hands dangling off the end. But knowing him the way I did, he was anything but relaxed. At a moment’s notice he’d be ready for battle. And by the way he was staring at Nebraska, I knew the battle he’d be willing to fight was the war within Nebraska. The one she was struggling to win.
Family
The good kind.
The kind that was selfless.
The kind you could count on.
Always.
“That everyone is against me. That the only way to survive is to outmaneuver—tactics will win over skill. That harmless means helpless and helpless gets you dead. I was taught in order to accomplish a task I had to be willing to inflict harm. That emotions are a weakness and love will break you. That I need to be a problem solver and when a solution wasn’t available to create one. That powerful men can sense the slightest hesitation. That women are much more dangerous than men. That—”
“Jesus, fuck me,” Zane growled. “You know the fucked part is none of that is wrong. As jacked as it is sitting here listening you spew that shit, knowing neither of the men in your life had in him to complete those lessons they weren’t wrong in what they taught you. Harmless is helpless. Emotions are a weakness. You never go into battle when the anger’s fresh. That shit gets you killed. Love can break you but that goes hand in hand with betrayal and loyalty and learning who’s worthy of those emotions—not avoiding them all together. Something that neither of them could teach you, but more importantly, taught you to avoid. Because once you felt it, really felt it down to your soul, they’d lose control of you. You’d figure out what true loyalty looked like, you’d feel safety and protection in a way you’d never felt. And once you had that, they’d lose their puppet. And I say they but I really mean Maddon. Charlie was too deep in his guilt to stop what was happening to you. Which is a weakness. Though, I’ll repeat, I don’t blame him for backing Anna’s play.”
I lifted my hand, slid it under the heavy fall of hair she’d secured in a band, and curled my fingers around the back of her neck. She tipped her head to the side and gave me her attention.
The woman looked totally lost.
Cast adrift.
That shit ate at my gut like nothing ever had.
“He’s not wrong,” I told her.
“But—"
“Not everything they taught you was wrong.” I gave the back of her neck squeeze. “You’re strong, smart, brave, and skilled—all of those things they trained you to be. It’s just time for you to learn something new, something different. And that starts here in this room. No one is against you. No one is out to get you. Every person in here respects you. No one is judging you or looking down on you. The takeaway from that is everyone has your back and if you let them they’ll help get you through.”
I saw her eyes flare so I knew it was coming.
“It’s not that easy,” she groused, full of attitude.
“Didn’t say it would be. And nothing that’s worth it is easy.”
She knew I was right but with Nebraska I learned she could argue about anything.
Shockingly she nodded and turned back to face the table.
“I’m worried Charlie turned down going to a safehouse. My father’s stubborn but he’s not stupid. He knows the safest thing for him to do is disappear. If not for his safety, for mine. He’s a liability, the only thing that can be used against me. If Maddon gets to Charlie he knows I’ll do whatever he wants to ensure my father’s safe return. I have to call my dad.”
Her assessment was spot on, like always. But something struck me. I’d never heard Nebraska call Charlie ‘dad.’ He was father or Charlie. Nothing else.
“You wanna do that now or wait for privacy?” Kira asked.
Nebraska glanced back at me with a small, secret smile that made my dick twitch and my gut clutch.
Christ.
She’d once again been run through the gauntlet yet still had it in her to give—something that on the outside looked small but really it meant everything.
Every-fucking-thing.
One step closer to where I needed her to be.
I watched determination leak in as she called up that steel backbone I knew she had.
“I’ll call him now,” she said, not taking her eyes off me.
