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My friend’s stare turned incredulous.
I didn’t get it but I would when he said, “You know that shit hurts like a motherfucker.”
Her.
With Smith it always circled back to her.
“Can’t say that I do. I’ve had one relationship, if you can call a twenty-year-old idiot stumbling his way around a relationship. But still, she was sweet and loved me and I cared for her so it sucked when I had to end it. It didn’t feel all that great but I wasn’t crying in my soup. I suspect if all of this with Nebraska turns to shit and she leaves I’ll be thinking back on this warning. What I won’t do is wonder why I didn’t listen because that woman in there deserves to know what it feels like to have someone care about her. Her. Not what she can do. Not mold her into what they want. Not use her for their benefit. Genuinely care about her. And if I can give that to her for a day, a week, a month then whatever hurt she lands on me will have been worth it.”
I gave Smith a few moments to respond. When he didn’t I left him with his thoughts, turned back, and finished making Nebraska a new grilled cheese.
By the time I was done and ready to get back to Nebraska, Smith had something to say.
“Ignore me. I’m the last person who should be dishing out advice.”
We seriously needed to put in some effort with him and dig this shit out of him once and for all.
“I know jack-all about relationships,” I returned. “But, brother, I know you. And that woman isn’t worth it. She’s still living in your head. After all these years it’s time to evict the bitch and move on from what she did, what she said, and start fucking living. And Smith, when I say she’s not worth it, I mean she’s seriously not fucking worth it.”
Christ.
It was like a competition between Nebraska and Smith on who could shut down the fastest.
No one had ever accused me of being well-adjusted or open with my feelings but compared to these two I was living free and open.
“Brace, Smith, your time’s coming.”
That got me nothing. Not that I thought it would. Unlike Nebraska, he didn’t have a tic or a tell. Smith Everette was stone cold.
I didn’t waste the effort or my breath.
I had a woman to feed.
After that I was going to attempt to take my time and show her exactly what she’d been missing out on the last six years. Though the way she ignited, the slow in the scenario might be difficult to pull off.
That wouldn’t solve a single one of her problems but at least she’d fall asleep next to me after I wrung out as many orgasms as I could from her.
In other words, she’d go to sleep with a smile and I wasn’t sure if that was something she’d ever done.
TWENTY
It was a damn good thing I’d quit-fired my job.
I was o…v…e…r…over traveling.
Connecticut to Maryland. Maryland to Florida. Florida to Egypt and that wasn’t counting my layover. Gallivanting around Egypt only to fly back to Maryland again, not including the layover. Not the first time I’d done something similar but I was happy it would be my last. Well, not my last—I still needed to find Maddon and solve that problem—but the end was near.
I thought maybe I’d feel some sort of way about hanging up my mediator coat but the only thing I felt was relief. I wanted quiet. I needed quiet.
Greece, here I come.
I was daydreaming about what my new life was going to be like and what color tassels I was going to get for my beach cruiser bicycle when I felt the bed compress next to me.
Easton.
We’d been back in Maryland three days and for three nights he’d slept next to me and three mornings I’d woken up next to him.
Three days I’d struggled.
