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He chuckled again. "Oh, yeah, I get it. Hurricane Ronan can be a lot to handle. Take all the time you need. I'm not going anywhere."
I bit my lip. What does that mean? Is he planning to be with me permanently or is he just talking about not being distracted while he's in Blue Harbor?
I tried to explain a little more without diving too deeply into the emotions swirling inside. "You're not too much at all, but you know this is all a little different for me."
"And you're handling it like a pro." Ronan paused for a second. "Hey, I've got an idea. Why don't we meet up for dinner tonight? We can catch each other up on the events of the day and maybe take a walk downtown along the lake."
I smiled, happy that I wouldn't have to go the entire day without us seeing each other. "That's a great idea. Meet at 7 at your hotel?"
"It's a date. I'll make a reservation at that little Italian place you said you like."
"Ronan, I just wanted to say this. You're the best."
I heard a smile underlining his next words. "I try. Have a great day, and I'll be thinking about you."
"Same here. See you tonight."
When the call ended, I threw myself backward on my pillow, already starting to think about how best to spend my day. If he were available, there was one person I wanted to talk to. He'd help me sort out the dizzying storm of emotion whirling inside my head.
I scrolled through my phone contacts until I found Theo's name. Before I could have second thoughts, I punched the call button.
"Tyler! Hey, what's up?" Theo's cheerful voice put a smile on my face.
"Hey. I don't want to interrupt anything, but I could really use a listening ear and shoulder to lean on. There's a lot on my mind. It's a little rough."
"Oh, of course, and no, you know I'm always here for you. Why don't you swing by the gallery? I have it closed today while we set up a new exhibition. In fact, today, I'm the only one here. That mean's it'll be nice and quiet, perfect for a heart-to-heart talk."
A massive wave of relief washed over me. "That's what I need. Thanks, Theo. How about if I'm there in about an hour?"
"Works for me. See you then, buddy."
As Theo ushered me into the gallery, I smelled oil paint mixed with a hint of turpentine. For me, it was the smell of fresh art. After sharing a warm hug, he tugged on my elbow to lead me to a large abstract sculpture.
"Isn't this piece awesome? It's by a Spanish artist. I ran into him last summer when he happened to end up in Blue Harbor. He says this work shows how he felt when he was here."
I squinted at it and tilted my head to the side. "I hope it was positive. I think it gives me good vibes. You know I'm clueless when it comes to art."
Theo chuckled. "Yeah, it speaks to me, but anyway, let's find a quiet spot to talk."
He led me through the gallery, past ultra-realist landscapes and beautiful jewelry pieces made from Great Lakes geodes. In the back, he pulled open a curtain to reveal a small alcove with a couch and a coffee maker where he gestured for me to sit and then settled in beside me.
"So, tell me what's on your mind. It sounds kind of heavy."
I took a deep breath while I rolled words around in my head, trying to pick out the best ones to illustrate my mood. "It's Ronan. I… I think I'm really falling for him, Theo. Falling hard."
Theo placed a comforting hand on my shoulder. "Is that a bad thing? I think it sounds wonderful. I've seen the way you look at each other, and I can feel the love in the air. It's a special thing. I suggest you savor it."
My throat constricted, and I shook my head. "But it's not that simple. He's not like anyone I've ever been with before. It's not just that he's a guy. He's successful, sophisticated, and his world is so entirely different from Blue Harbor. What if I'm just a temporary distraction for him while he's here? What happens to us when he decides it's time to go back to his real life?"
Theo lowered his hand to my thigh and gripped tightly. "Whoa, slow down. You can't think like that. Or, if you must, you need to talk to him about it. From what I've seen, Ronan cares a whole lot about you. I doubt he'd be investing so much time and energy pulling you into the adventures of his great uncle if he didn't see a future for the two of you."
I stood and wandered out of the alcove, feeling the need to move, and I paced in a circle. Words spilled out of me like a waterfall. "It's not just about Ronan. It's about me, too. You know I've never been with a guy before… ever. If I go after this and let myself fall completely for him, it changes everything… my entire life. People will never see me the same way again. I will see myself differently. I won't ever be able to go back."
Theo smirked slightly. "We're good at drama." With that, he immediately rose and stepped forward to grip my shoulders and stop my panicked movement. "Tyler, please, listen to me. It's scary. I know it is. I've been there. When Dawson and I first got together, I was terrified about what people would think. It meant the baseball hero was gay, and I thought people might think it was my fault."
"Damn, I never thought about that. You two were so natural together."
"And you and Ronan aren't? You look like that to me. And you know… all those fears about being with Dawson… it was so worth it. Nothing could be worth more than the love and happiness we found."
