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Panic is setting in again. Breathe. In, two, three. Out, two, three. I’m pacing all over the place. All the thoughts in my head are going around like a tilt-a-whirl, and I can’t make heads or tails of them.
“Come on, guys, please? Just give me an hour. Then you can go and do whatever you want with the rest of your night. He’s had a long day; I’m sure he’s only coming over to be polite.” I hold my breath hoping I’m convincing enough to get them to stay.
“I can stay for a little bit,” Kiersten says, “but then I need to go study. I have a big test coming up.”
“Thank you, Kiersten!” I run over and give her a hug. I cling to her, afraid that if I let go, she will change her mind. This will all be fine. We will play some games or watch a movie. We have food coming. It will be a fun and relaxing night, then Mark will leave. A simple hang out. Nothing to stress about. The doorbell rings. My heart rate speeds up. A moment of sheer panic hits me. Mark. Here. House. Help. Panic. Now. No one moves towards the door. I’m stuck in place. Duncan gets up from the chair he’s been occupying to answer the door.
“Pizza’s here!” He yells. I take a brief breath of relief. “And there’s a guy! Are you Mark?”
I can’t hear the rest of what he says. Duncan walks in carrying the food with Mark following behind him.
WOW.
Mark is good-looking, no one can deny that, but Date Mark? Date Mark looks like he stepped out of the pages of GQ with his well fitted jeans and T-shirt that hugs all the right places. Tugging on muscles that have names and uses I don’t know , but I do know that Mark has good ones. Very good ones. His hair is tousled like he’s raked his hands through it a few too many times tonight. I itch to comb my fingers through it to see if it really is as soft as it looks. Is this how he gets ready for a date he doesn’t care about? What does he look like when he cares? Realizing I’m staring, I clear my throat.
“Hey, Mark! You made it!” I squeak.
Internal cringe.
“Thanks for the invite.” Mark starts to move towards me.
Tori bounds back into the room with a glint in her eye that is never good. “Mark, fancy seeing you here.”
I glare at her from behind his shoulder and mouth, “Be nice!”
She bats her eyes at me, feigning innocence. But her lips curl into a smile that would rival the Grinch’s when he decides to steal Christmas from the Who’s.
“So, Mark, I hear you’ve just moved here. Or back?” Duncan breaks the awkward silence. I’ve never been so grateful for him being a constant in our home than I am at this moment.
“Uh, yeah. Been back a few weeks now.” Mark glances at Duncan before shifting his attention back to me.
“Cool.”
“Hi! I’m Amara,” Amara slides in next to Duncan. “One of Millie’s roommates!”
“I’m Kiersten, nice to finally meet you!” Finally? What’s with everyone tonight?! I don’t need Mark thinking I’ve been talking about him. Which I haven’t. Much.
“Nice to meet all of you as well.” Mark walks over to where I’ve planted myself.
“Hey,” his voice is a little husky as he wraps me in a hug. This is new. I can feel his firm muscles through his shirt. Gosh, he smells good. It’s intoxicating. What is that? Cedar? Sandalwood? Whatever nature-y scent it is, it’s working.
“Hey,” I whisper back.
“Are you sure no one else wants to come?” Tori asks.
“No!” A chorus responds.
“Your loss. I’m out!” She’s out the door, slamming it behind her.
“I see Torrance is still the same,” Mark whispers into my ear. He’s still so close. Are we still embracing? I should probably step away. Just a friend would step away. I don’t want to, but I reluctantly step away from Mark and his addictive embrace.
“We’re going to head out too,” Amara says, gesturing to Duncan then dragging him by the arm behind her. There is a glimpse of an apology in his eyes as they pass on their way towards the door.
“I have a test on Monday so I’m going to go study,” Kiersten winks at me. She WINKS. The little traitor.
“I thought we were going to play games. Watch a movie?”
“Go ahead.” She calls as she disappears down the hallway. There’s a, “Have fun!” followed by the sound of her bedroom door closing. That’s it. They’re all dead to me now. I look up at Mark, who is still standing right next to me. It wouldn’t take but a fraction of an inch and I could just—
