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“Come on! We’re young. We’re single. It’s not even that late! It’s Saturday, for goodness’ sake! We should be out doing something fun and crazy!”
“Umm, not all of us are single, Tori,” Amara says as she extricates herself from Duncan just long enough to get the words out then returns to their intertwined canoodling. I laugh as Tori rolls her eyes.
For as long as I can remember, Tori has been anti-relationship. She’s dated but nothing serious. She likes to keep people at arm’s length.
Amara is the very opposite. The moment she met Duncan, they became inseparable. Sometimes opposites attract, and it’s a force to be reckoned with. We all know it’s just a matter of time before he proposes.
“Where’s Jonathan tonight? He’d be on my side!”
“He said he’s going to be a bit late. Something about additional practices before the show opens next week.”
A flood of relief rushes over me as I hear this. As much as Mark and I are just friends and just hanging out, I still haven’t told Jonathan I’ve even seen Mark other than that Saturday at my parents’ house. Guilt settles into my gut. I don’t know why I can’t talk to him about this. He’s my best friend. Mark’s his brother. Wouldn’t he want us to be happy? Because spending time with Mark makes me happy. I’m tired of trying to deny that. There’s this pull towards him that has never been there in the past. I’m drawn to Mark like a magnet. I feel lighter and more myself when I’m with him than I do with anyone else. My best friend would want that for me, wouldn’t he? That’s what I want for him.
“We can’t go out,” I say. “I just invited Mark over for game night.”
Silence.
“Why are you all looking at me like that?”
“You invited Mark over?” Kiersten asks cautiously.
“Does Jonathan know about this?” Tori asks. I try to ignore the growing pit in my stomach.
“No. I just invited him,” I explain. “Mark just moved back to town. He doesn’t know too many people anymore. He’s had a bad night, and I thought that game night might cheer him up.”
That’s not a complete lie. He seemed desperate to get away from whatever mess Ben and Belinda concocted for the evening. It was the polite thing to do. Friends cheer each other up when they have a bad day.
Can I see you tonight? His question seared into my brain. Calm down, heart, he didn’t say he needed to see me, he just asked if I was available. I can’t go reading between the lines. It was a text so there weren’t any clues into its inflection or meaning. He could have meant anything by it.
I know I’m lying to myself, but I also don’t want to get my hopes up. I’ve wanted him to want me for so long I’m not sure I’d ever recover from the rejection if he did refuse me.
“Who’s Mark?” Duncan asks.
“Babe, remember I told you about the guy that she grew up with that works in the same building? The lawyer.”
“I thought that lawyer was a jerk and a total tool?”
“You’re thinking of Troy. This is Mark, Jonathan’s brother.”
“Wait, you have a thing for Jonathan’s brother?” Duncan’s eyes are now on me and wider than I have ever seen them.
“We’re just friends,” I retort. I hope no one else heard the squeak that narrowly escaped, “Nothing else. Yes, he works in the same office as me. Yes, he is a lawyer who works with Troy. Yes, he is Jonathan’s brother. No, I do not have a thing for him. We are just friends.”
My face heats. I hate being the center of attention.
Duncan and Amara share a look. UGH. Couples!
I don’t even look at Tori. She is being eerily quiet, and that can only mean one thing: disapproval. And I can’t deal with her disapproval. She’s the only one who has ever known about my crush on Mark, but even she doesn’t know all that has happened the last few years. I definitely haven’t told her anything about all the lunches this week. She’d call me out for being a coward for not telling Jonathan. And tell me that I’m a terrible friend for lying to him. She’d be right. I am a lying coward.
Tori finally breaks her silence. “I just texted Jonathan, he’s up for going out tonight. Anyone else?” She looks around the room, and when no one responds, she adds, “Whatever. I’m going to go change.”
“Well,” Amara removes herself from Duncan and the chair they have been sharing, “if Tori and Jonathan are going out tonight then I think we might take off too.”
What?! No! This can’t happen!
“You can’t take off! I can’t invite someone to a group hangout and then there be no group hanging out! It’s going to look like I asked him over to Netflix and chill!”
“Guess you better watch Hulu then,” Duncan jokes.
