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Going downstairs is risky, but my stomach is screaming for food, so I suck it up.
Mum’s on the sofa watching television. She watches me as I walk past her and into the kitchen, listening for her to follow.
She does.
I open the fridge and look inside, grabbing some cheese and settling on a sandwich; there’s not much else in it.
“You look terrible. Your hair is a mess, and you have hollows under your eyes. What’s going on?” There’s concern in her voice, but she sounds bitter, too.
“I’m fine. I’m hungry and tired.” I don’t look up at her but set about the task of buttering the bread, slicing the cheese, and making the sandwich.
She walks away when she realises I’m not going to speak.
I devour the food and go back upstairs to message Jere.
Anna
Come get me? I don’t want to be here.
I scoop up some more clothes and wait until I hear his car.
I head straight for the door, but Mum’s waiting for me. “Anna, please. Don’t run off. Stay. You need to stop this behaviour.”
“You don’t know what I need. I’ll be with Jere.” I stare at her and make sure she hears me. I’m not sure where all the anger at her has come from, but I don’t want her telling me what I can do, especially in relation to Jeremy.
We drag ourselves into school a few weeks later to pick up our exam results. We both already know we got into uni, thanks to the email confirmations.
But it’s bittersweet. It meant that the summer was coming to an end.
“Hey, Anna. How’d you do?” Sammy stops me to ask.
“All good. You?” I smile, but it’s false and risks cracking the skin on my lips.
“All Bs, so I’m in. Are you okay? I’ve not heard from you in weeks?” Her eyes look sad as she studies me.
I blink and nod.
“So, university. It’s actually happening after everything we talked about.”
“Yep.” My grades weren’t great, far from what I had hoped for, but I’d scraped in.
She reaches out and takes my wrist. “Hey, Anna. You look like you’re about to cry. What’s happened?”
“Nothing.” I shake my head. “I’m fine. It’s good.” But inside, it’s like all the pieces of me are about to shatter. It feels like I’m waiting for Jeremy to get into his car and drive off, and I’ll be left running after him with no possibility of catching him.
“Anna, I know when something’s wrong. We might not be as close, but I’m here for you if that’s what you need.”
“I’m fine, Sammy,” I snap. “Thanks. I need to go and find Jeremy.”
She looks up and nods.
“Hey, my ears are burning.” Jeremy smiles down at me.
“Hey. All okay?” I snake my arm around his waist and pull him against me.
“All good. Sammy?”
“Fine, thanks. You?”
