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“My turn.” He lifts me and switches our positions so I’m on my back. He wastes no time ramming deep inside of me, grunting as he does. It doesn’t take long, and I study the chords of tension running down his neck as he finds his own release.
“Fuck,” he pants.
“We did.” I grin up at him, feeling ecstatic.
Chapter Seventeen
Ididn’t go home that night.
Or the next.
I spent all my time with Jeremy, and he didn’t push me away. Mum called, but I was still angry and ignored her calls. I messaged so she knew I was safe and with Jere, but going home wasn’t an option. She’d made me choose, and that was worse than telling me no. I thought she was cool and relaxed and would see my side in this, but she didn’t. She put this barrier between us, and now something so silly had caused a huge rift. And it was growing every day I stayed away.
Everything is easy when Jeremy and I are together, and we slip into a new kind of dependability.
The drugs continue. I don’t even question it, and it soon becomes the norm between us, so much so that the days blur together.
Mum and I don’t talk, and it wouldn’t matter what she said to me — I’m hurt and angry and can’t shake that. I don’t want to listen to her because I know what I’m doing, and all that matters, more than anything, is Jeremy.
A few weeks pass, and I miss the day we are meant to leave for Cornwall.
I can’t even remember it because we were so high.
The next day, I received a message on my phone saying she’d left, and I was still welcome.
My answer was to get blind drunk and forget that I’d just broken something that used to mean everything to me — a tradition that was more than just a time away and holiday for us. It was healing, growth, and strength.
For such a long time, it was Mum and me against everything.
Not going with her slowly ate away at me. Deep down, in my gut, I knew it was the wrong decision.
So, I buried that pain in Jeremy. I buried all of my pain with him.
We went to London, and it was everything I hoped for. We indulged, saw the sights, ate the treats, and did everything Jeremy said we would. It was like all the best parts of our relationship condensed into a few days when we were untouchable.
It felt like everything was possible and nothing was off the table, and that was the best feeling in the world. Jeremy gave that to me, and I loved him for it. There were some blank spots for part of the trip because of whatever we took, but that just made it all the more exciting. The overriding memory was that we were happy — like there wasn’t a care in the world. And I wanted to cling to that — get lost in the sensation and never let it go.
I’d been afraid that if I held on too tight, it might shatter and break. But I didn’t believe that now.
We were equals now. I didn’t have to worry that he might snap out of this dream and come to his senses because I could feel he loved me as much as I loved him. And that’s what I wanted.
When we returned, we continued on the same path. Days slipped by in a blur again, but it didn’t matter because we had each other.
“Come on. Up.” The voice wakes me, but I’m groggy and can’t remember what happened. “Anna, come on. Enough of this.” Mum’s voice sinks in, and I groan, turning over and keeping my eyes shut.
“Go away.”
“You’ve had weeks to get wasted and have your time to act out. But that stops now. This isn’t you.”
“Shut up and let me sleep.” My head pounds and wants to explode. Any attempt to look for the memory of why I’m back home and not with Jeremy feels like my head might split in two.
The sound of glasses clinking and rummaging keeps me conscious. “What are you doing?”
“Tidying up your crap. I see you’ve escalated from smoking weed. I’m so angry at you right now that I can’t even speak to you.”
It goes quiet, so I assume she’s left, and I drift off back to sleep.
I sleep the day away and finally wake at dusk. My phone’s dead, so I find a charger in my room, wanting to know why I’m here and not with Jeremy.
