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I took a moment to consider how to answer as I chewed on what was left of the sausage. “Yes and no. Not the way you wanted me to, at least. I’m not that big of a piece of shit.”
She blinked at me.
“To be fair, you took off every single piece of clothing and crawled into my lap in the truck,” I said. I took in every little minuscule reaction on her face, ranging from embarrassment to abject horror. “We made out a bit, but that was it. I was mainly holding you to make sure you didn’t slump over.”
Every movement was robotic as she set her fork on her plate and covered her mouth. “Oh my God.”
“You passed out on me and I carried you up to my room. I figured you’d probably be freaked out if you woke up naked so I put you in a shirt and tucked you in.” I flashed her a little grin. “You kept begging me to snuggle with you. It was very cute, Lottie.”
“I’m gonna be sick.”
Within a second I was on my feet, opening the cabinet I kept stocked with medicine and hangover cures. I plucked a packet of Alka Seltzers from their box and dropped the two little fizzing tablets into the glass of water in front of her. “Drink this and you won’t be.”
Her lower lip quivered as she grabbed the glass and chugged half of it in one go. Something about taking care of her, cooking for her, and coaxing her back to her stable self, made my chest ache once again, that familiar bloom of something far too dangerous to consider. I pressed a kiss against the top of her head and sat back down in my chair.
“There’s a bathroom just there,” I said, pointing to the closed door on the opposite side of the kitchen. “If you still need to, I mean.”
“Thank you,” she sighed, watching the bubbles rise to the top of her glass as the last of the disks broke apart at the bottom. “For… everything.”
“Don’t worry about it.”
She shook her head. “No, I shouldn’t have gotten that drunk in front of your mom.”
“She’s not upset about it.” I cut across the poached egg, liquid yolk pouring over my plate. “She likes you. Even called to check on you this morning.”
A little smile broke across her face as she chuckled. “So I did a good job, then?”
I nodded. “You did. Now eat.”
We sat in comfortable silence as she slowly picked at her food, her nausea making each bite difficult. She did good, though, finishing her juice, her coffee, and the last of her medicine. The only thing she left was a single slice of avocado toast, and as I brought my chair closer to her and picked it up from her plate, she held out her hands and shook her head.
I popped it in my mouth instead.
The way she watched me felt like I’d won the lottery. I hadn’t seen a hint of that brick wall since Texas, and granted she had bigger things to worry about than keeping me at a distance, it still felt like progress. Like there was something between us that both of us could feel, that I wasn’t the only one drowning under the looming sense of whatever this was.
I didn’t care that she needed a shower. Didn’t care that she hadn’t brushed her teeth or done her hair or makeup. None of it mattered. She was in my house and I wanted to keep her here forever.
I wanted to keep her forever.
Her phone pinged on the table next to her. I almost expected her to ignore it, assuming it to be just another text from her ex, but she stared at it, reality catching up to her, draining every bit of energy.
“Fuck,” she sighed. She turned off the screen and looked across the table at me, her blue eyes wavering. “Dad’s doctor wants to speak to me in the next hour.”
“Oh. Do you want me to come with you?” I offered. It felt silly, like I was inviting myself to a private affair, but I’d been there through a lot of the ups and downs over the last few weeks.
“It’s okay. I don’t think it’s anything new,” she sighed. “Where’s my car?”
I had half a mind not to tell her. It was selfish, yes, but I didn’t want her to leave. Instead, I took a deep breath and decided to be a somewhat decent human being. “It should be outside. I had one of my assistants drive it over from the spa.”
She pursed her lips together and nodded to herself. “And my clothes?”
“By the front door. There’s a bathroom just off the foyer on the right.” I stacked her plate on top of mine and assembled the glasses, making my move to clear the table. It felt like an ending I didn’t want, an ending I shouldn’t have to experience. “It’s just down that hallway there.”
Her chair creaked as she slid it backward. “Thank you.” She stood, my shirt falling back down around her thighs, and looked down at me. “For all of it.” She seemed to hesitate, though. There was no other movement, just her standing above me, looking down, little pieces of hair around her face still as night. Something flickered in her eyes, something I couldn’t quite place, but before I knew it I was opening my mouth to speak what I hadn’t been able to stop thinking about.
But her mouth met mine before the words could break past my lips. She kissed me quickly, gently, as if something inside of her compelled her to. I held her around the backs of her thighs, her skin warming my palms. I tried to savor every second that she gave me, but before I could memorize her, she was pulling away. I didn’t want to let go.
“I have to go,” she whispered.
