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Shaking myself out of my head again, I wind around the girl I’m dancing with, holding her close as we sway together.
She lifts her long arms, winding them around my neck from behind. Her hands are soft, and I close my eyes, lost in the sensation for a moment.
Another memory pops up.
“It’s my birthday,” the faceless girl says, her mouth curving into a grin under the neon lights.
“Happy birthday, doll,” I say back.
I wonder why I’m suddenly remembering these details. The girl in my memory seems familiar somehow, but I can’t put a finger on it.
Shaking my head, I refocus my attention on the girl I’m dancing with, just trying to enjoy myself in this moment.
I look up and catch Oliver’s eyes, raising an eyebrow to silently ask if he wants to take this one upstairs.
He shrugs and glances over at Theo, who seems sullen for whatever reason. I laugh, then remember how I did this before the last time we were here.
We took that girl upstairs, didn’t we? I wonder why I’m suddenly remembering all this.
Maybe Cal just triggered the memory. We had a lot to drink that night, celebrating the three-year anniversary of our father’s death, so the memories I do have of that night are all a big blur.
I’m suddenly not in the mood to go upstairs with the girl we’re dancing with and push her away, deciding to go back to the table and have another drink. Oliver watches me with a quirked eyebrow, but I shrug, unable to voice my thoughts.
Slipping into the booth next to Theo, I drain my drink then signal the table service girl for another.
Whatever is going on with my mind tonight, I came here to get away from it all. I need to drink until I stop thinking so hard.
Lifting the shot to my lips, I take it back, then another right after. The burn feels good, and I like the way I’m already starting to not think so hard.
Whatever happened that night was probably not that big a deal, so I don’t know why I’m dwelling on it.
21
OLIVER
Before I can even breathe again, a few more months have passed. It seems like just yesterday, Eva came into our lives, but now she’s become more and more pregnant with each passing day.
Declan keeps coming around, trying to act like he’s interested in the progress on the manor, but we get the feeling he’s trying to get Eva alone again, misguidedly thinking that she’s got anything to do with the changes we’ve been making.
“Would you like to go to the bookstore with me tomorrow?” I offer, approaching Eva one day after her latest prenatal appointment.
She glances up, catching my eye with a basket of laundry on her hip, belly peeking out from behind it. “I can’t… sorry,” she apologizes, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. “Fitz has me helping him with some renovations to the library.”
“You’re not moving things, are you?” I ask, alarm rising.
“No, I’m on cleaning duty,” she reassures me.
Even though things have shifted between us, Eva still finds reasons to keep us at a distance. I don’t blame her. After everything we put her through, she’s been reluctant to trust us.
She still accepts us into her bed at night, though, still shows us the passionate side of her, the wild side.
It’s the closest we’re getting to her right now, and I have to accept that.
“Another time, then?” I offer.
“Sure,” she says, shifting on her feet. “Sorry, I’ve got laundry to do. I’ll see you around, Oliver, sir.”
Frustration courses through me, and I run a hand through my hair. I know I have no right to her, but I hate being dismissed so easily. My ire rises, and I reach out, gripping her wrist before she can get away.
