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“Maybe. I think I will sit down for a minute.” I moved to the chair, leaning over myself in the seat. My hands clasped over my face.
“Should I call Ollie?” Jolie bent before me, so much worry on her face.
I shook my head, not lifting it.
“Okay.” She stood, giving me space. “What about Remi?”
“No. He’s busy with the show.”
The show he didn’t want to do. The show, he said, would be too rowdy for me when I hadn’t been feeling one hundred percent.
The world around me disappeared behind my hands. The sound in the room became nothing, Jolie’s gentle voice fading out.
I sat on my dad’s lap again. I was, again, cuddled beneath the blanket covered in stockings.
“Pick your favorite one. You can go first.”
My tiny hands faltered above the cup, nervous about selecting a marshmallow and being burned by the hot chocolate.
“It’s not too hot, baby. You’re good.”
I picked out the pink one.
“Pick me one, too.”
“And me, too.” Rhylie jumped on the checkered chair.
Her blonde wavy hair was wet from a recent bath, and she had the prettiest smile on her face. “I don’t mind what color. You can pick for me.”
“There’s only white ones left.” My voice was small but not all that different, distinctively me, with a light rasp.
“That’s okay.” The little girl cuddled into our father, who looked between us both with a smile on his face.
“I love you both.” I could see his face this time—his blond hair, like my sibling’s, sparkling blue eyes that glistened with so much feeling as he placed a kiss on both of our heads.
And then he was gone.
I lifted my head, Jolie in my direct view, staring down at something in her hands. Her mouth hung wide.
“What is it?”
Her eyes found me from the other side of the bed, the stranger resting between us.
Though, she didn’t feel like a stranger anymore.
She felt familiar.
She felt like family.
“It’s you.” Jolie held up a fan of pictures. Instant snaps that Remi had taken, along with paper cut-outs from newspaper articles. “There’s a lot of them.”
“What the fuck?” The words rushed out like vomit, and I felt like vomiting as I stood up too quickly, my knees going weak and my stomach rolling, as I realized who this woman was. “I have to get some air.”
I rushed from the room, not waiting for Jolie when she struggled to catch up.
The fresh air assaulted me when I got outside. I made it to Ollie’s car before collapsing to the ground, leaning against it for support.
There was a reason…
