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My life revolves around one huge commitment and I don't think I could commit to anything more than that.
I thought she would have been happy that we lived together, and things seemed to be good. We spent time together when we could and she had her own job that kept her busy. I was mistaken. She wasn't happy and she wasn't content. Amanda complained occasionally about me being gone. She didn't like to be alone for long, so most times she ended up staying at her sister's apartment. We had a pretty big fight when it finally came out that she wanted more and I wasn't ready to give that to her. I had to leave for another competition and when I got back home, she was gone. All of her things were out of my place and she changed her number so I couldn't even get in contact with her.
I'd be lying if I said I didn't feel a bit of relief.
I didn't have to try to live up to someone else's expectations anymore. I was free to be me and to come and go like I pleased. Or like my career demanded.
After Amanda and I broke up, I kept things casual. I never went on more than three dates with a woman, although I'd end up in her bed on more occasions than that if she understood the deal. There was no room or time for relationships or commitments. I just needed someone every now and then to make me feel good and feel a little less alone.
There aren't many people on the street as I walk up to the front of the hotel. It's already getting close to midnight and my body is exhausted. The time difference really took a toll on me, especially since I wasn't able to sleep on the plane. They always made me too nervous and my anxiety was too high for me to be able to get enough rest. Aria, on the other hand, had no trouble falling asleep. After I stupidly grabbed her hand and finally let it go, she smiled at me and put her headphones back on before getting comfortable in her seat. At one point during her nap, she shifted my way and ended up with her head against my shoulder.
I didn't want to move her. She was too peaceful, her face so relaxed and her lips parted slightly as she snored softly.
She turned the other way before she woke up, so I'm certain she didn't realize she spent some of her time sleeping against me. I'm also certain she didn't notice my fingers as I instinctively brushed the hair from her face and tucked it back behind the band of her headphones. I was finding there were a lot of things I couldn't help myself with when it came to Aria Reed. Having her this close, deeply embedded in my life, was beginning to feel like more of a problem than I thought it would be.
It's getting harder to keep my guard in place and harder still to keep her out.
She's working her way under my skin and I don't like it.
The hotel lobby isn’t busy as I walk inside the doors. There are two people at the front desk and they glance up at me before returning their attention back to their phones in front of them. Their voices are hushed and low. I mind my own business as I walk past them, heading straight for the hall to the elevators. I press the up button and pull out my own phone to check my messages.
I asked Austin if he could stop by and take care of my cats while I’m out of the country. He’s not a huge fan of cats, but he reluctantly agreed. They’re both slight menaces, so I’m sure he’s having a great time cleaning up after them.
The elevator reaches the lobby and I step inside after the doors slide open. As I slide my phone back into my pocket, I pull out my room key. To reach the seventeenth floor, you have to swipe your key card. We were all given our own suites, but those floors are restricted from other guests.
It takes about a minute to get up to the seventeenth floor since the elevator doesn't stop at any other floors. I'm surprised with how quiet the hotel is right now. It's a bit shocking, but then again, it is the beginning of the week, so maybe there aren't that many people staying here, or people are already sleeping. Maybe some of them are out, I don't know. I don't know why I'm even putting this much time into thinking about what anyone is doing here.
I'm trying to keep my mind off the one thing it keeps drifting back to.
Aria fucking Reed.
And as I step off the elevator, she almost runs into me.
She lets out a loud gasp and drops the bottle of water she was holding. "Oh my god, I'm so sorry!" She says the words a little too loudly as she tries to collect herself. She still hasn't even looked at my face, but I look at hers. Her cheeks are red with embarrassment. Her hair is pulled back in a French braid and she's wearing a robe and slippers. I have no idea if she's wearing anything under the plush, white garment, but I'm curious.
We both bend down at the same time to pick up the water bottle she had dropped. It was completely accidental as we both reached for it. My hand brushes against hers, sending a wave of electricity through my fingers. Aria gasps and instinctively jumps. I didn't realize how close I was to her until her head bumps against mine.
"Oh no," she says under her breath as we both stand up right. I have the water bottle in my hand and I go to offer it to her, ignoring the twinge of pain in my forehead from where her head hit mine. Aria rubs the back of her head momentarily as her gaze collides with mine. "Leo."
"Ari."
A wave of nervousness passes through her expression and she laughs apologetically as she takes the water bottle from me, careful to avoid her fingers coming in contact with mine again. "I'm sorry, on both counts. I didn't even realize anyone was coming off the elevator and I didn't mean to bump your head."
"Stop," I tell her as I stare down into the swirling hues of gray. Standing this close, I can pick out the small flecks of dark blue in her irises. She's fucking beautiful. "You don't have to apologize to me for anything, ever. You got that?"
She pulls her bottom lip in between her teeth and nods. "It's just a habit, I guess." She pauses with a shrug. "And I kind of owe you an apology for all of that."
I shake my head at her. "I don't want any apologies from you." There's something about her doing it that doesn’t sit well with me. I don't care if she runs me over with her goddamn car. The last thing I want to hear is the regret in her voice as she profusely apologizes as if she's going to be in trouble if she doesn't.
She's under my skin. I want her out. But I don't want her to ever feel like she's small. I don't want her to ever feel as if she's beneath anyone.
Aria Reed deserves to sit upon the highest fucking pedestal.
"What were you doing?" I question her as I glance behind me at the little room she must have come from.
A smile spreads across her lips and she pulls a bag of pretzels and a chocolate bar from the pocket of her robe and shows them to me. I've seen what Aria normally eats during the day and she isn't one who seems to indulge in junk food often. "These are my guilty little pleasures. Don't tell anyone."
The corners of my mouth twitch. "We all have our secrets."
