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She doesn’t look as thrilled about the idea but leaves the conversation at that. I make sure my headphones are connected to my phone and I slide them up over my head. I’ve always preferred over-the-ear headphones. Earbuds make my ears sore and they’re uncomfortable for me.
I select the music app on my phone and settle on the playlist of classical music I have on there. It’s the one I typically listen to while I’m skating and I find it helpful to listen to it when I’m not on the ice. It’s like it embeds the melody and the sound of the music into my mind and it becomes second nature to move to those particular songs.
There’s a rolled-up blanket in my backpack and I pull it out before storing my bag under the seat. I grab the neck pillow I brought along, although I don’t wear it around my neck. I position it like it’s a pillow before I recline my seat.
There weren’t any first-class seats so I ended up having to fly coach. Thankfully the seats do recline a little and there’s a decent amount of legroom. It’s not ideal but the flight to Germany isn’t too long so these accommodations will suffice. I’m not picky, but I do enjoy the finer things in life too.
Laying back in my seat, I pull my blanket over my body and try to find a comfortable position. It's not the most pleasant seat, so it's a little difficult for me since I'm half sitting, half trying to lay. Turning my head to the left toward the window, I settle against the wall and lift the blanket even higher until it's just beneath my chin. My eyelids flutter shut and I let the sound of my music lull me into a state of just being. My body begins to relax and I start to feel more at ease than I did when I first got into this position.
A few minutes pass and I can feel myself about to drift off to sleep. The plane hasn't left yet, most likely because we were still boarding passengers after I got on. It isn’t unusual for me to fall asleep before takeoff. I’m one of those fortunate people who could fall asleep anywhere. I don't know if my anxiety is more on the side of "everything will be fine if you just go to sleep". It’s almost as if I am handing everything over once I step foot on a plane. If something bad happens, there isn’t anything I can do about it. It is beyond my control, so I’m not going to stress about it. I am just going to sleep through every part of it that I can.
And then I feel the other woman and I are no longer alone. Someone moves into the middle seat and is now sitting directly between both of us. Our guest's arm accidentally bumps into mine and I resist the urge to let out a long, exasperated sigh. The thought of no one sitting in the center was honestly wishful thinking. I overheard someone at the airport talking about how it was going to be a pretty full flight, but I was a little hopeful.
I slowly sit up as I open my eyes and turn to look at my new neighbor. Much to my surprise, it's none other than Leo Wells sitting next to me. He's staring at me and my heart pounds erratically in my chest as I pull my headphones off and let them rest around my neck. Leo's eyes are slightly wide and I watch his throat bob as he swallows roughly.
"I wasn't sure you were getting on the plane," I admit to him as I turn down my music on my phone, letting it be background noise as I stare back at Leo.
"I'm here," he says gruffly as he adjusts in his seat. He directs his attention away from me as he slides his backpack under the seat and sits back upright to buckle his seat belt. One of the flight attendant's voices comes across the speakers as she announces that everyone is on the plane and begins to go through the safety information. Leo's body is tense as the woman drones on about what to do if there is a plane crash.
I'm pretty sure none of the things they tell us to do would actually come in handy if we were to go down. I don't think my chances of survival are very high.
The plane begins to move along the runway and you can feel the movement of the aircraft as the pilot gets ready to take off. We wait for a few moments and I see Leo as he grabs both armrests on either side of him. I can't help myself as I watch him for a moment, studying his actions. His jaw is tense and he stares straight ahead like he's trying to block everything out. The plane shifts again and we begin to move forward. It isn't long before we're picking up speed, racing down the runway for takeoff.
The wheels of the plane hit a few bumps and I sit with my own hands on my armrests as I look around. Leo's now sitting there with his head pressed back against his seat and his eyes are closed. I feel a bit invasive staring at him, so I direct my attention elsewhere. I stare at the stitching of the headrest of the seat in front of me. This is my least favorite part of a plane ride other than when there is turbulence. This is exactly why I make it a habit to fall asleep before we take off. This shit feels sketchy as hell, even though it lasts less than a minute.
We're picking up even more speed and I feel the wheels of the plane begin to lift from the ground. Leo suddenly reaches out, his hand warm against mine as he tightly wraps his fingers around mine. I don't look at him. Instead, I turn my wrist so my palm is facing up and Leo laces his fingers within mine. I didn't realize how scared he actually was. He doesn't dare to open his eyes, so I simply sit there in silence next to him, holding his hand to comfort him as the plane soars up into the sky. Leo's knee begins to bounce and he looks uncomfortable as we hit a pocket of air. His grip tightens on my hand and he doesn't let go.
The music plays from my headphones, filling the empty space between us. A minute or two passes before we're settled in the air and it smooths out. I see Leo from the corner of my eye as he straightens his head and his gaze drops down to our hands clasped together. I look over at him and he begins to unweave his fingers from mine and slowly pulls his hand away. His lips part like he's about to say something, but he clamps them shut again.
"I didn't know you were afraid of flying."
Leo levels his gaze on mine. There isn't a hint of amusement in his expression. Instead, he looks irritated as hell. "I'm not."
I'm about to challenge him on that when I decide to let it go. With the way Leo typically presents himself, this is a stark contrast to the way he acts. You would think there wasn't a single thing that bothered this man. Him being afraid of flying comes as a shock. The fact that he grabbed my hand surprised me even more. He needed comfort in that moment and he sought it from me. Perhaps he doesn't hate me the way he acts like he does… or I was the closest thing for him to cling to.
"If you tell anyone about that, I'll deny it until the day I'm dead."
I can't help myself as I laugh and roll my eyes at him. "Your secret is safe with me, Leo."
And it is.
Any of his secrets would be safe with me.
CHAPTER NINE
LEO
Germany is beautiful. It's the middle of spring and flowers are beginning to bloom along the streets. I walk down the cobblestone road, my head looking up and down the street as I make my way back to the hotel. I love visiting here, even if I hate the process of getting here. It's where I'd like to live eventually. I've spent a lot of time traveling with this career and for some reason Germany has always been enticing to me. There's just something warm and comforting about it that makes me never want to leave.
I imagine when I retire one day, this is where I will be. I'll buy a little house on the hillside, not far from town, but far enough that I can have my own peace and quiet.
It's just a different vibe. I do like Idyll Cove. It's all I've really known in terms of my permanent residence, although I'm a little tired of the sleepy little town. I want more. I want to wake up every morning and feel like my life has more purpose. This life of traveling and competing can be tiresome and lonely. It's easy to feel like you're not really living when you're caught in the continuous cycle of hustling and busting your ass off.
I will never ever admit it out loud… but sometimes, I just want a break from it all.
But I do like winning more, so as long as I keep doing that, I'll keep living this insane life.
The hotel is less than a mile away from where I wandered off tonight. I ended up in a little German restaurant where I sat at a table by myself and had dinner. It wasn't any different than how I normally lived my life, but it circles back to being lonely. It's not easy to find a partner in life with the demanding schedule I have. I tried dating before and it didn't work out. There was one woman, Amanda, who lasted a little longer than the others. We dated exclusively for about two years before she decided she wanted more from me. She was waiting for me to propose and I am not a fan of committing to another person.
