Page 41 of Fakecation


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Daniel didn’t fare much better than she did. His hair curled wildly, all product washed out of it, giving her the sight of a man who belonged on a swimsuit magazine cover. Amelia felt like a mess, but he somehow looked perfect while soaked.

“Maybe we should head in to get some food and water,” Daniel said after their second hour.

“We have plenty of water here.”

“I mean drinkable water,” he said, rolling his eyes. She would have wondered if she’d offended him, but the smile on his face said otherwise.

She briefly considered staying to enjoy the ocean even longer. But then she took stock of how she was feeling. Her throat was dry and her stomach was begging for food. She felt a little like an unmaintained car with all its dash lights on.

They went back up to the room and gulped down three glasses of water before she looked for nearby restaurants on her phone. While she browsed options, Daniel showered.

Amelia needed to as well, but all she could think about was food.

Before she could pick out a place, John walked into the condo.

“Do you have food options?” Amelia asked.

“Hello to you too.”

“Sorry, I’m starving.”

“And I’m dejected,” John said. “The bartender is not single anymore.”

“Oh no. That really sucks.” She did feel for her brother, but she also saw a listing for pizza that made her mouth water.

“Give me good news. Something to make me happy.”

“Do you want Daniel’s ex-wife’s designer clothes?”

John blinked. “I’m sorry. I don’t think I understood that sentence. Daniel’s who and what?”

“Daniel was married. They’re divorced and it’s finalized now, but he might still have some of her stuff. She was . . . not the greatest person”—her nose scrunched as she thought about her—“and I bet she’d hate to have her clothes given away. She had really nice stuff.”

“First off, I would love to ruin a snooty woman’s life by taking her clothes, and second, I love how jealous you got when mentioning her.”

“What? I didn’t get jealous.”

“You made a face.”

“Well yeah, because she sucks.”

“And he’s your man now.”

Her heart raced at the idea. “Okay, maybe. But she also ignored boundaries and came into work to embarrass him, which is not okay.”

“That’s right. Defend your man. By the way, I approve. He’s a major improvement from the trash you dated before.”

“You like Daniel? You barely know him.”

“Right, but I know you. And you have that giddy, new-love aura around you. Plus, he’s been nice to me, which Andrew never was.”

“You’re right about him being nice. But not the other thing. I’m perfectly normal.”

John gave her a doubtful look. “You have never been normal. It’s what we love about you, but you stare at him. It’s like he’s your whole world. Just seeing you two makes me wish I hadn’t sworn off long-term romance for life.”

She could have agonized over his words, but her stomach growled. “As much as I love these life talks with you, I think I will die if I don’t eat food.”

“You’re always hangry when you come back from the ocean. What are you wanting?”

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