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“I know this is a shock, and completing all five mate bonds in one day is going to be overwhelming, so I don’t want to pressure you. But I’m glad you’re my mate now. I’ll be honest and say at first, I was scared. I didn’t want a mate because I knew my brother would use you against me. But now, he is gone, and if my mother is alive, she is too weak to do anything. So thank you, Killer, for breaking me out of those chains, and accepting me as your mate. I’ll prove to you I deserve to be by your side.”
I stare into his eyes for a second. Watching his emotion play out across his face and trying to shove mine back. I’m not ready to feel any of this yet. Even if my heart has accepted them as my mates, my mind is still hesitant to embrace them. Yes, I’m in denial, yes I know there is no changing what has already been done. But I want to pretend for a bit longer that it isn’t done.
“Whatever, can we please go back? I’m starving and we need to sleep. We’ll be at the keep in two days then the dumb fucker will be dead and we can go home and figure the rest of this shit out.” I try to push out of his arms, but something snags me around the waist, holding me close to his body.
Looking down, I see a blue green tentacle with white suction cups clinging to me. The tiny little pad feels like hundreds of mouths kissing my waist and down my inner thighs. Dirty, dirty thoughts about what can be done with that appendage dances in my mind and my body shakes at all the possibilities. I glance back up at Syrinox’s face and his sexy little smirk pushes the last of my desire to the back of my mind. I huff a sigh and cross my arms, raising one brow in what I know to be a bitchy look.
“We can go back for now, but I want you to know that this isn't over. We may be bonded, but it hasn’t escaped my notice that we didn’t mate, and that will be rectified … soon, Killer. Very fucking soon.”
Nox leans down and kisses my lips. His forked tongue sweeping into my mouth and stroking mine. Gods, this man is going to be the death of me. I can just imagine him whispering sweet nothings in my ear as he plows into my body and those tentacles dancing behind him now are wrapped around my arms and legs, keeping me still and at his mercy. Fuck!
Groaning, I pull away from the kiss and head back to the shore, using my magic to propel me through the water. Nox signs at me to keep his secret and I nod. It’s his secret to keep and I’m sure he has a reason for not telling his friends the truth right now. I just don’t care enough to ask him what those reasons are. The others are sitting and laying around the fire. Glavior has my clothes laid out on a log close to the fire so when I put them on, they are warm. He also hasn’t taken a bite out of his food, two full plates sitting on the log beside him. Nox never left the lagoon, but the camp is close enough to the water’s edge that he doesn’t seem separated from the rest of us.
We sit around, eating dinner and talking about the mission until the sun is well set and the night creatures start to play. We never talked about the bond I can now feel in my chest, never mention what it means moving forward or what we expect of each other now. It’s like a giant elephant in the forest that we all pretend we can’t see and for now, that works for me. I just want to get this kill over with, then we can have a heart to heart and get the ‘what do we do now’ talk out of the way.
We lay down, letting the fire die out on its own. Syrinox says he will keep watch tonight as he plans to enjoy the water while he can. Glavior wraps his large body around my tiny form, and the twins jostle for the spot in front of me, somehow they both end up with their heads on my stomach with their feet stretched out toward the flames. Dree walks a bit into the forest, he says he wants to shift and talk to the earth around us to see what he finds out about the keep and the Slum. He seems to be in some sort of trance and his skin hardens until he becomes an ashwood tree. I can still make out his face, but the rest of him is just branches, roots and trunk of the tree.
My eyes drift closed as I watch Nox swim, jumping from the water and diving back in. He plays with the water creatures and smiles so wide I can see his teeth glisten in the moonlight. I fall asleep to the image of my mates around me and I can’t help the small smile that forms on my lips. I guess I really am okay with having mates after all.
I’m in the dreamscape. I know this path, I can feel Her creatures around me. The snakes from the pit lead me to her, and I can see her mates surrounding her throne. I’m not sure I’m really ready to see her. After all, we did just kill a few thousand of her creatures and I can’t imagine she is going to be very happy about that.
Still, when a goddess requests your presence, you don’t exactly get to say no.
I walk the path, smiling as rats, snakes, and spiders crawl, walk and slither around me. Bats fly overhead and dip down to play in my hair before shooting into the sky again. Her animals are so loving, and I’ll never complain about getting to play with them when I come to see her. She calls me, summoning me closer. A smile on her beautiful face.
“Daughter of mine! I see you’ve finally accepted my gifts. They do become you, child.”
I fall to my knees, hands stretched out above my head as my chest meets the cold, hard ground. I bow to my Goddess, waiting for her to release me. She gestures, and her snake mate moves forward to help me stand. Rat holds a chair out for me, pushing it under the table across from the Goddess before stepping to her side again. I smile at Her, genuinely happy to see her.
“My Goddess, thank you for having me tonight. Your gifts were unexpected, but I’m sure they will prove themselves useful in due time.”
The Goddess laughs aloud, the space around us seeming to vibrate with her amusement. “Sweet Astrate, you always did have a way with words. Yes, they are made for you. You’ll soon see that it’s often the things we never wanted that have the biggest impact on our lives.”
She smiles lovingly at her mates and I recall the stories Papa used to tell about how hard she fought against accepting her mates. For centuries they tried to earn her love, and eventually, she just couldn’t say no any longer.
“Child, you have a hard kill ahead of you. But if you trust your mates, all will be well. They know what they are doing. Kill the Dragon, and free the children or yours will be next. If you make this kill quicker and efficiently then you can live your life in peace, You’ll have children, mates, your brother and his family. Life will be everything you’ve ever dared to hope for. Go sleep and hurry to finish this fight,”
Goddess Astrate leans forward and kisses me on the lips. I can feel her magic surge around me and I know that she has given me another gift, and knowing the goddess, it isn’t going to be one I’m happy with. I don’t need more magic, and that is typically what her gifts are, more magic. At least at first, I won’t be happy. But trusting my goddess has never led me astray before.
Chapter 18
The last two days have kind of been amazing. I’ve spent the walk to the Keep getting to know my mates better, watching how they interact with one another, the way they talk and goof around. I pay attention to what makes them annoyed and what really pisses them off.
I learned that Glavior uses anger as a defense. If he feels at all like someone is trying to pick on him, or gets scared that one of us will get hurt, he resorts to anger. He yells, acts angry, smacks the guys in the back of the head, even storms off a time or two. Still, no matter how angry he appears to be, one look from me, and he’s nothing more than a puppy, following me around and doing anything he can think of to make my life at the moment easier.
The twins have been spending time trying to pamper me out in the middle of the woods. Onyx picks out my clothes at night while I sleep then spends the first twenty minutes we’re awake trying to convince me that he should help me get dressed. Cerise keeps trying to feed me. He literally started the day yesterday shoving bread into my mouth when I yawned as I woke up. This morning, he filled my plate so much, the other guys barely had anything for themselves.
Nox has been obnoxious with his suggestions and innuendos. Almost everything he has said in the last two days has been about sex. He’s also been really touchy since he told me the curse was broken. When we’re alone, Nox doesn’t shut up. He tells me everything about himself. His favorite food, his favorite colors, what tv shows he likes to watch. I know so much about him now, that we could probably do one of those human shows about newlyweds and win.
Dree doesn’t seem to be that different than he was before. Now we talk about the group, what they all did before becoming a group. Stories about their adventures together, and what their plans are now that they have their mate. I stay quiet most of the time, a burning in my chest making me want to be happy about the fact that I have mates now, but also a heavy burden knowing that there is no getting out of the guild. To be honest, I don’t even want to get out. I listen to them fantasize about being a big happy family with Az and his mates, talk about helping Ahazu in the clinic and maybe even joining the police force back home, raising kids together and growing old together, and all I can think about is how I can balance their desires around doing jobs and getting kills.
I’m terrified that my dark desires will ruin them, and eventually, they will grow to resent me. There is no way I can make all of them happy, raise a family, and spend my nights hunting monsters. My mind circles with the puzzle of how to make both sides of my heart happy. The side that desires a happy family and a future with my mates, as well as the part of me that craves the kill, the two pieces of my soul, are at war inside my mind.
We stand in the treeline, staring at the tall walls of the Keep as my mind runs around and around my personal dilemma.
“Are we sure we should send her in?” Cerise asks as he eyes the dozens of guards on top of the wall.
Some of the guards are holding rifles, some have magic dancing over their hands, all of them are staring out into the woods around them. Dree is meditating again, communicating with nature around and behind the walls. Glavior is watching the gate and the people walking in and out of the walls, and Onyx and Nox are talking with Cerise, tearing the plan apart and trying to rework it.
