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I’m not as blindly obedient as my sister thinks I am. Like I said to Hawthorn, I’m not a victim. I’m every bit as much of a villain as my parents are. But stupidly, I never thought they’d try to give me away to someone that they knew would treat me badly. Not only is Geoffrey almost twice my age, but he’s been accused more than once of being inappropriate with both girls and boys. Each time, he’s paid off the families of his victims and then moved on like nothing happened. My parents sold me to an abusive predator, and I’ll do whatever it takes to make sure that he never gets near me.
“Is this a joke?” Hawthorn demands, his voice firm and commanding.
“No, there’s nothing funny about any of this.”
“You want me to fuck you?”
Flinching at the coarse word, I close my eyes and suck in a slow, calming breath. “Yes.”
“Why?” he growls.
“Why?” I echo, unsure what he means.
“Why me? Davis offered to fuck you the other week, so why me?”
“Because…” I snap, then look away from his probing eyes.
“Princess, you better get those eyes back on mine. I’ve warned you twice about looking at me when you’re speaking to me, I won’t tell you again,” he snarls.
I don’t know why I comply, but I do, instantly looking at him, then immediately wishing I hadn’t. His face is granite, his lips set in a hard line, and his eyes tight as he watches me.
“I want a reason. Why me? Why not Davis or Kip, or hell, one of the minions who follow you around sniffing at your cunt even knowing they’re never going to get a taste?”
“Because…” I stop, not wanting to admit the truth.
“That’s not an answer, Penelope.”
“Because I’d rather it be with someone I’m at least attracted to,” I confess in a rush, my cheeks blooming with heat as embarrassment consumes me.
Hawthorn has been silent for so long that if I wasn’t staring at him, I’d think I was alone in the room. I’m grateful for the reprieve, but I hate that he made me confess that I’m attracted to him. Why couldn’t he just accept that I’d asked him and not dig any deeper?
His lips part, and before he says a word, I know he’s going to say no.
“This wouldn’t be a big deal,” I insist. “This is just about breaking the will. Don’t think of it as having sex with me, this is just a way of helping my sister get free of our parents.”
“Let’s say we have sex, and I take your virginity. What happens if your parents pay off the lawyers the way they have the teachers?” Hawthorn asks warily.
“That’s why we’d need to record it,” I whisper, completely incapable of looking him in the eye, no matter how much he might demand it of me.
“You want us to make a sex tape?” he questions cautiously, like he wants to make sure he’s asking slowly enough that we can both understand.
“No,” I say quickly. “Oh my god, no.”
“Penelope, if we record ourselves having sex, that’s a sex tape,” he says drolly.
“All the video would be is evidence. As soon as the lawyers confirm that I broke the clause by having sex, I’ll destroy it. I’m hoping my parents never considered bribing the lawyers and no one will ever have to see it, but I need a failsafe in case they figure out this is my next step. I know how messed up all of this is, but we can make sure that no one knows it’s you, that the only person that’s identifiable is me,” I tell him, trying to sound clinical and detached, and failing miserably because I don’t feel clinical or detached, I feel panic-stricken.
Unable to look at him and see the way I know he’s looking at me right now, I drop my chin and focus all of my attention on my hands in my lap. It feels wrong to slouch, but good posture doesn’t seem that important when I just asked a boy who openly hates me to have sex with me on video. Truthfully, I’m not sure if I’m more terrified that he’s going to agree to do this or that he’s going to say no and I’ll have to ask someone else. Davis did offer to have sex with me, but the thought of being with him just feels wrong—not that anything about this could ever feel right.
When I realized that losing my virginity was the only way to end everything and break my great-grandfather’s will, I knew it would have to be one of Gulliver and Izabella’s friends, because they’re the only people I know who would willingly go against my parents. I know that they all hate me, but Hawthorn is the only one who doesn’t look at me like I’m some pathetic little victim. He sees my evil, and he doesn’t try to pretend I’m something that I’m not. Knowing that he’s not sugarcoating my role in everything that’s happened to my sister helps, and if he says yes and we have sex, he won’t feel sorry for me after, because I refuse to be pitied when all of this is my own fault.
“Okay.”
“What?” I cry, snapping my head up to look at him.
“Yes, I’ll have sex with you, but I have some conditions,” Hawthorn says calmly, his voice so collected that it sounds more like he’s agreeing to lend me a pen, not help me lose my virginity.
“What kind of conditions?” I ask warily.
