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“There’s civilization out there. It’s just more of a matter of... well, who I’d leave behind coming back here.”
“Oh. A who?” Tabitha leans in, very curious. “And who might this who be? Is this who a he?”
I blush red. “Maybe.”
“So that’s a yes, then.” She leans in even closer. “What’s his name, then?”
“You’re incredible, you know that?” I run my hands through my hair in exasperation. “His name is Bear.”
“Oooh, strikes a very clear mental image. Is my mental image of him right?”
“If you are picturing someone ruggedly handsome and strong enough to throw me over his shoulder, you’re probably not far off the mark.”
“Tell me more, then. What does he do? A carpenter like Hunter?”
“No. Lumberjack. Woodsman? He’s kind of a tree farmer, if that makes any sense? Runs a business, very focused on sustainability and growing good quality wood. Not just, like, slashing and burning his land.”
“Sounds smart on top of buff. That’s the best kinda guy. Is he nice?”
“Incredibly. And sweet. And giving. And selfless, and devoted, and caring, and...”
“He’s perfect. I get it.”
I let out a sigh. “I wouldn’t say that.”
“Oh. So this is where it gets juicy and not just saccharine sweet. What is it? Does he snore?”
“If that was the only problem, I’d be in heaven. No. It’s something far worse than that.”
“What can be worse than snoring?”
“Commitment issues.”
Tabitha sips her coffee as she stares at me. “You’re worried about that after a week?”
“What we’re feeling for one another is really deep, Tabitha. It’s, like, this isn’t just a fling. This feels real. And this realness is the problem. He’s terrified of hurting me.”
“How’s he going to hurt you? Seems like he’s hurting you already.”
“That’s what I’m thinking, right?” I throw my arms up. “But commitment is a problem with him. His mother got hurt real bad by his father, and cursed their marriage. So he never wants to get married. Or even do anything that looks like it.”
“Oof. I’d call that a red flag, but I guess I can see where he’s coming from. Can’t let anyone get too close to him or he’s going to risk hurting them. Guess his dad cheated on her?”
I nod.
“Yeah, that’s the easiest way, but it can even be something beyond your control. Like a tragic accident. Or cancer. You lose someone that close to you, you’re going to hurt them bad.”
“But that’s silly. You can’t run away from everything that might hurt you. That’s just how life goes. There’s good. There’s bad. You best just enjoy the good times while they’re there, or you’re just accepting a life full of misery.”
Tabitha sips her coffee, nodding along with my words. “That’s how it works, yes. So are you going to wait for him to come around on that?”
I sink down, stirring my coffee with one of those little sticks. “I don’t know. This job is a big door for me. If I stay in Evergreen Valley, I can’t really take the job, unless I want a daily two-and-a-half-hour commute.”
“Think of the gas costs alone.”
“So I either go with this job, and try to make it on my own, or I stay near Bear, hoping that he gets his head out of his ass. Then I need to bet that there’s actually something there. I mean, he could be right. Maybe I’m blinded by a raging passion right now. Or lust. He’s very good at making me lust for him.”
Tabitha stares at me, nodding. “Go on.”
