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Not true. My fate was decided the moment I was created.
This is what I was meant to be. What I will always be.
I rested my hand atop of hers,
“You should get some rest.”
I didn’t wait for her response. I practically ran down the hallway from her and damn if it wasn’t one of the hardest things to do.
I just need to get away for a few minutes.
I walked over to the balcony and pried open the sliding glass door.
I didn’t want to walk away from her. I wanted to stay. I wanted to believe the words that she was saying. That I didn’t have to be the monster I was created to be. I didn’t have to be the dark brooding fuck-up that was full of evil and hate. She thought I could be different. That somehow I could change.
I CAN’T!
I gripped the edge of the balcony ledge tighter.
I couldn’t be those things. I couldn’t change it. I was who I was and there was no changing that and that never bothered me before. I accepted who I was born to be, and the role I was supposed to play. The fate that had been assigned to me from the moment of my creation and would follow me until my demise.
So why does it bother me now!?
Why? Why did it matter to me all of a sudden? Why did it matter so much to me what she thought I could be?
I needed to get out of here. Just to clear my head for a few brief moments.
Fly. Flying always helps.
The familiar slight pain of my wings emerging was a feeling I would never get over. Flying was amazing for me. It shut off my head. I could fly for hours and hours and never get tired of it.
I stepped up onto the ledge and readied myself.
I needed this. I needed the thoughts and ideas in my head to just turn off for a moment.
What has she done to me?
13
Chapter 13
Lucifer’s POV
Why is the light on in her library?
I stepped off the balcony and headed back to my room to get at least a few hours of sleep. I had been flying for a little over three hours. While I loved flying because it tended to turn my mind off, this time it didn’t seem to help. I kept thinking about everything that she said. I kept thinking about her. She plagued my thoughts as I soared high into the dark midnight skies. Even hundreds of feet up in the air I couldn’t escape her. Everything reminded me of her. The soft light of the moon reminded me of how bright her smile was when she laughed, the soft clouds reminded me of how soft her skin was, even the way the damn wind blew against the trees reminded me of her, reminded me of how her hair fluttered in the soft breeze. She was everywhere. In my thoughts, in my dreams, in my fucking head. I couldn’t get rid of her, yet… I didn’t want to.
When I landed I had planned to go straight to bed, to put those thoughts of her to rest like I had been for the past few months but the moment I landed I could see a soft glow coming from her library. I knew she had the light off when I left and there was no possible way she was still awake.
Ever so gently I reached for the dagger that I kept strapped to my thigh and quietly made my way to the door.
She always keeps this door closed. Something isn’t right.
Gently I opened the door, pulling the dagger out from my holster.
Oh.
The tension eased from me when I saw her sitting in that big velvet chair. Reading. I didn’t even think she realized I was there as she stared at the page and twirled that piece of hair in between her fingers. Lost in her own little world.
