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She shrugged and finally glanced up at me,
“When I’m angry the flame is like a siren calling to me. Like I can hear a million tiny voices calling out to me. Sometimes I don’t want to use it but when I do, I find it comforting, and when I don’t use it, I feel mournful. Like some part of me is being caged up again.”
Caged. She used that word again.
“You keep saying that word. Caged. What do you mean when you say it?”
Catalina tensed as the delicate flames danced between her fingertips.
“Whenever my mother was disappointed in me, which was pretty often, she would lock me away in my room.”
“How long were you locked in there?”
“Hours, sometimes days. Once she left me there for two weeks.”
WEEKS!
“She fed me one meal a day and a few cups of water throughout. I was only allowed to use the bathroom three times a day and a shower every other day.”
“What things would you do for her to even do that?”
I was curious. What could a child possibly do that was so bad that the mother would consider locking their child away for weeks?
Catalina shrugged,
“If I didn’t get a high enough grade in my classes in school If I talked back while getting a punishment, One time she locked me up because I didn’t wake up the first time she woke me up for school.”
I hated her. I hated her mother.
“It all depended on her mood and what kind of day she was having, if it was a bad day, just me breathing too loud would set her off, but if she had a somewhat good day it would take a little more.”
The small little ember began to grow as her shoulders tensed up. I grasped her hand that was holding the ember and she relaxed as the flame extinguished.
“I think we should get to bed. Like I said, It’s getting late.”
“I’ll walk you to your room.”
We walked the few short moments it took to get to her door in silence but that confession she had given me still played in my head. Locked away. Caged by the people who were supposed to shelter and protect not hurt and lock away.
“You said you were born to be a monster. What did you mean by that?” She asked as we approached her door.
“How can we truly know good in this world if there is no evil?”
I brushed a strand of hair out of her face and gently tucked it behind her ear,
“ Everyone has a role to play in this world, Catalina. Mine just so happens to be the villain.”
I opened her door and began to turn away. I made it halfway down the hallway when I heard her voice again,
“What role would you want to play?”
Don’t do this princess.
“Do not assume that I am some tortured soul looking for redemption. I am what I am and nothing is going to change that. This role was decided the moment I was created and it is a role I will continue to have for the rest of eternity.”
I didn’t dare breathe as I heard her make her way down the hallway to me and rest her delicate hand on my shoulder.
“The path others have laid out for you doesn’t have to be the one you follow.”
