AllFreeNovel
Share Us
Rohan nods. “Of course.”
“So, umm, it’s actually how I’ve been acting since I met you all.” I glance at Karen, who rolls her eyes at me. “I’d roll my eyes if I were you too,” I say. “I was really nasty earlier and it was unnecessary. I’m sure you’d all prefer if I just left.”
Nods are seen around the fire and Niles says, “Yes, that would be nice. Why don’t you?”
Whoa, that felt like a splash of cold water. I didn’t expect them to agree with me. “I could. That would be the easy thing to do, and probably the smart thing, given the fact that Ty has made it more than clear to me that there is literally no way he’s going to change his mind.”
“Oh, come on,” Savannah says. “You’re still doing it!”
“Doing what?” I ask.
“Trying to get rid of the rest of us so you can have him for yourself.”
Shaking my head, I say, “No, I’m really not. I don’t expect you to believe me, not after that whole dengue fever thing or after how I acted at lunch, but I’ve honestly given up on the idea that he’s going to fund anything.”
I glance at him and see he’s staring at me, his expression unreadable.
Karen shakes her head at me. “So why do you even want to stay? You’ve burned your bridges with the rest of us, and you claim you don’t think Ty’s going to change his mind, so why put yourself through the next several days with a bunch of people who don’t want you here?”
“Because I owe Dr. Napper,” I tell her. “He believed in us. He saw our potential. He gave us a chance and really good jobs for the last decade. And not only that, he was excited about giving us another decade. The least I can do is give him a few more days, even if they’re uncomfortable.”
“He believed in all of us, not just the SETI people,” Karen says.
“I know he did,” I tell her. “What I realized this evening, sitting here listening to you all, is that for the last several years, I’ve been angry with people who judge my program without bothering to learn more about it, when really I’ve been doing the same thing to you all. Not only that, I went after Niles and Karen today just to make myself look better, and I’m sorry. I wish I could take it back.”
I look at both of them, hoping that they’ll accept, but based on their expressions, I can see it’s a hard no. “I thought I was so much better than you. So much smarter, and I guess I was desperate to prove that to Ty, but the truth is, we’re all the same—we’re a bunch of dreamers trying to find our place in a cynical world.”
“Isn’t that funny, since just this morning you said you’d never want to be with a man like Ty because he’s too cynical.”
Fuuuckkk… My face turns bright red and I glance over at him just in time to see him blink a couple of times. “I … that is … absolutely true. I did say that.”
“Well, I’d rather be a cynic than a total hypocrite,” Niles says.
“She’s actually both,” Savannah adds.
“That is also true,” I answer, my whole body feeling mushy. Owning up to your mistakes is kind of the worst, no? “Anyway, I am sorry and if I could take it all back, I would.”
Karen squints her eyes at me. “What I want to know is what made you so mean?”
“What?”
“What made you such a nasty person that you would try to kill our dreams like that?”
“Yeah,” Niles says. “I’d like an answer to that too.”
Okay. Wasn’t expecting that. “I guess I’ve always felt like I had to fight for every bit of respect I’ve ever gotten,” I say. “I was raised by very logical, highly accomplished people. My father has his PhD in Analytical Chemistry—he’s a pretty big deal in that world. The funny thing is my mom is a professor of condensed matter physics at M.I.T., and I don’t know if you know much about physicists, but they’re so serious about science, they think what chemists do is laughable. So for her, even what my dad does is a bit of a joke, so just imagine what she thinks about what I do…”
“Let me guess,” Rohan says. “Your very logical, highly accomplished parents don’t approve.”
“Oh, they hate it. I’m a total disappointment to them and they are both one-hundred-percent sure I’m wasting my life.”
Rohan tilts his head. “That sounds like it could make for less-than-pleasant Thanksgiving dinners.”
I nod, glad that he seems to get it. “And phone calls home, and Christmases, and our annual fourth of July week at the lake…” I say. “They’re actually extremely embarrassed by my job. I happen to know that my mother never discusses me with her colleagues. I might as well be a stripper as far as she’s concerned. Not that there’s anything wrong with being a stripper, I mean, if someone enjoys stripping. But you know … it’s not the dream most people have for their daughters. Anyway, lucky for my parents, they’ve got my big brother to boast about at the office. He has a double doctorate in both of their fields of study and works for NASA. They’re constantly ‘suggesting’ I ask him to get me a job there.” I look over at Karen. “I don’t expect you to feel sorry for me and I don’t mean to say I have an excuse for being so shitty to you. I just … think maybe this is why I turned out to be ‘so mean,’ as you put it.”
She nods at me. “Yeah, that would do it. Sounds kind of awful, actually.”
Shrugging, I say, “I know a lot of people have it much worse than parents with extremely high standards.”
