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“Yes, I know that.”
“Then why are you uncomfortable talking about it?”
“Because … it’s just different when we’re talking about a specific person.”
He narrows his eyes and I know he needs me to explain.
“Gwen. It’s different for us to talk about Gwen. It feels … wrong.”
“Why? Was the intercourse wrong?”
“No, it wasn’t. In fact, it was … very nice. It’s just that when two people are in a relationship, it feels wrong to talk about those parts of the relationship with someone else.”
“But you’re not in a relationship with her. You said so yourself.”
“I know that.”
“So why don’t you want to talk about it?”
Rubbing the bridge of my nose, I say, “Some things are private, Michael.”
“Private? Like when you got your penis stuck in your zipper before your junior prom and you didn’t want to tell Mom about it?”
I close my eyes, my embarrassment fresh even though it happened decades ago. “Yes, like that.”
“I see.”
“Okay, good, because I really don’t want to talk about it.” I stare at my laptop even though the screen has gone black. “It’s too late. I’ve already agreed to the deal and I’ve put down a large down payment. I can’t change my mind now.”
“Hmm, well, that is unfortunate then. It seems to me like you’ve made a choice that you will regret deeply for a long time.”
The alarm on his watch goes off. Michael shuts off the TV and stands up. “Time for bed. I have to be up at seven a.m. to go to the museum tomorrow.”
“All right, Michael. Have a good sleep.”
“You too, Ty.”
He leaves me sitting on the couch, thinking about how I’m about to make the biggest mistake of my life. Well, according to him anyway. He can’t be right about it though. It’s not like he’s ever even had a girlfriend. He doesn’t understand the finer nuances of romantic relationships or how fucking terrifying it is to open yourself up to that kind of pain.
No, Michael is wrong. There’s no way I’m going to regret this ‘deeply for a long time.’ I’ll be fine. Totally fine. I don’t need someone like Gwen Fox to be happy. I can be perfectly happy all on my own.
Only I’m not, am I?
35
The Fork in the Road…
Gwen
Fox Family Chat
Just got home. Exhausted. I’ll call you soon.
Mom
How’d it go with Sterling? Did you make any headway?
No, and I really don’t want to talk about it.
