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“Because I’m about to do something that will hurt her and all the people she cares about.”
“Why would you want to hurt them?”
“I don’t want to. It’s just … inevitable. She works for the foundation, which Richard was going to take over. But because he’s gone, I have to shut it down, which means they’re all going to lose their jobs.”
“They can find new jobs, can’t they?”
“Yes, but they won’t like their new jobs as much.”
“Why not?”
“Because the foundation is a place for people who have unusual interests. For example, there’s one team searching for Yetis.”
“That’s ridiculous. Yetis don’t exist. Why would you pay people to look for something that doesn’t exist. It’s a massive waste of time and money.”
“I know, and honestly, I never understood why Richard did that,” I say. “Until I spent some time with the people who worked on some of the teams over these last few days. Suddenly, it made sense.”
“I don’t understand. Are you saying Yetis exist, Ty? Because I assure you, they don’t.”
“No, I’m not saying that. What I’m saying is the foundation isn’t like a normal business where the focus is on making money. It’s more like a charity. Sort of. Richard set it up because he wanted to give people somewhere to go every day where they could spend time with like-minded people who believe things that others might make fun of,” I say, my gut tightening.
“Well, I know what it feels like when people make fun of you. It’s not very pleasant,” Michael says with a firm nod. He stares at me for a second, then says, “Do people make fun of your friend, Gwen?”
“No.” Only her parents. My muscles tense with anger. “Her job isn’t as easy to make fun of as some of the other teams. She’s on a team trying to contact intelligent lifeforms from other planets.”
“Ah, yes, I’ve heard of that,” Michael says. “And she enjoys her work.”
“Very much,” I tell him. “As much as you enjoy learning about dinosaurs.”
He frowns at me. “So, don’t take away their money. Then she’ll be happy and you can have lots of intercourse and sleep well.”
“It’s not that simple,” I say. “I need the money to buy the football team.”
“Ah, yes, the football team. I have something to say about that,” he says, pointing to the air. “It’s a terrible idea. While you were away, I researched the duties of a team owner. I’m not sure if you know this, Ty, but it will be a lot of work.”
“I’m hiring a president to run everything for me.”
“That’s very wise indeed, but much of the responsibilities will still depend on you. Did you know the owners meet regularly to make decisions about the league?”
I nod, feeling irritated. “Yeah, I know. A few times a year.”
“Correct me if I’m wrong, but I don’t think you can send someone else to those meetings. And what if you need to build a new stadium? It’s a major undertaking that will require you to be in Dallas for much of it, making decisions.”
I sigh, feeling completely worn out. “Michael, I know what I’m getting myself into. Running a successful organization is all about hiring the right people to do the right things. It’s not my first rodeo.”
“What are you talking about? You’ve literally never been to a rodeo.”
“It’s an expression. It means I know what I’m doing. I’m experienced.”
“Why not just say that then?” he asks, looking completely exasperated.
“Right. I should have,” I answer. “Anyway, the point is, don’t worry about me. I know what I’m doing. I know all about what it’ll mean to own the team.”
“I have a very bad feeling you’re going to have to be away a lot and I don’t think it’ll be worth it, especially if buying the team means you have to shut down the foundation and that you’ll lose this woman Gwen, who I assume you want to have more intercourse with.”
“Michael, I’d prefer if we don’t talk about the intercourse, okay?”
“Why? Does it make you uncomfortable, Ty? Because it shouldn’t. It’s a natural thing that all animals do. Well, other than a few species of lizards, wasps, and crustaceans, where the female of the species is capable of reproducing using a process known as parthenogenesis, or self-fertilizing. But humans require a mate.”
