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“So fucking much that I’m not even sure where to start first,” I admit with an honesty that I haven’t given anyone before.
I expected Thea to give me some kind of sarcastic comeback. I expected her to make fun of me and point out how badly I needed to do exactly that. She doesn’t do anything of the sort. Instead, she does something that rocks my world. She reaches across the table and puts her hand over my arm, patting it in support.
“Start with one small thing and move to something a little bit bigger once you get it resolved. The best thing to do when climbing a mountain is to tackle it one step at a time.”
“That’s very wise advice,” I respond when I can finally find my voice.
“I can’t take credit for it. My dad told me the same thing after my accident. It has always stuck with me. It helped me make it through all the bullshit, you know?”
“I think I do,” I answer and when she gives me her smile, I give her one back and this one doesn’t feel forced.
Thea doesn’t know it, but tonight, she’s given me hope. I’ve felt like I’m drowning for so long, I didn’t realize how much I needed a lifeline. I don’t know how I’m going to find myself again, but Thea is right. I’ll have to do it one step at a time …
Chapter 3
Dom
I should have learned the lesson that life could change on a dime. I’m getting tired of the fucking sucker punches. That’s not whining. It’s just stating a fact. I feel like I’m currently trapped in a nightmare. I felt so much hope the night I had dinner with Thea. It felt good. Now, it hasn’t even been two weeks and my kid brother is lying in a hospital bed fighting for his life.
T is the last person to deserve all this shit, and it’s my fault. He got shot during some uproar at his new club. It’s all my fault because if I had manned up, if I had taken charge and not left things up to Gabby, T would still be in Kentucky, a member of the Savage Brothers and not barely breathing.
The silence in this waiting room is slowly killing me. I jerk as I feel a warm hand wrap around mine. I look over at my hand first and then slowly lift my gaze up to see Thea’s face smiling at me with a sad look on her face. “It’s going to be okay, Dom.” Her voice is hushed to the point I have to strain to hear what she’s saying. She squeezes my hand and I return the squeeze. She tries to pull away, but I don’t let her. I keep her hand in a firm grip, and she stops trying to pull away. I feel someone’s eyes on us and look up, but it’s not my father staring at us, and I thought that may be the case—well, either my father or hers. Dad is still in T’s room with Mom and Lyla. No, this guy is the one T’s woman, Lyla, mentioned gave T blood. T is a very rare match. The fact that some stranger could give it is surprising. I mean, I guess it happens, but it can’t happen very often. He’s giving me a pissed off look. It’s one that could freeze a man where he stands. There’s also a look of visible hate on him. It instantly has my guard up. I take a step away from the wall to block Thea with my body. There’s just something about this asshole that I don’t like. Before I can go up to him and find out what his problem is, an alarm suddenly blares down the hall.
We all filter out. There’s not one of us that isn’t scared something is going on with T. My heart is hammering against my chest. I’m pretty sure the only damn thing that is keeping me from losing my mind is Thea’s hand wrapped around mine. As we make it into the hall, nurses are moving into T’s room. Thea moves closer into my side and I hold her tight. I can’t seem to force air into my lungs as the nurses work on T to figure out what’s going on. The sound of Lyla's begging and crying reaches me. I hear Mom and Dad, but I can’t pay close enough attention to figure out what they’re saying. I feel like I’m about one step away from falling apart.
“He’s okay,” a nurse announces. “His leads just came off.”
She sounds like she knows what she’s talking about. Once I hear T’s heartbeat on the monitor, I move back. I turn quickly to find the elevator. I need to get away from this antiseptic smell and cloud of doom. It seems like my sanity is slipping away, I feel like I’m starting to crack. Releasing Thea's hand, I quickly locate the elevator and repeatedly hit the down button. It feels like forever before the doors open and I all but charge inside. Thea is right on my heels, which surprises me. I don’t say anything, though. I’m not sure I can. As soon as the doors slide shut, Thea is holding me close, her arms around me, her head buried in my chest.
“He’s going to be okay, Dom.”
“Yeah,” I exhale, tilting my head down and burying my face into her hair.
“He is. T is a fighter, Dom. He’s fought through much more than both of us. He has a new baby on the way and a woman he loves. He’ll get through this.”
“Yeah,” I repeat because that seems to be the only thing I know how to say.
She pulls back to look up at me, her hand going to each side of my face. “It’s going to be okay.”
She just keeps saying the same thing, I know. Still, every time she says it, I begin to believe. I cup her hands with mine and stare into her beautiful eyes. “Thank you for being here, Thea.”
“I love him, too, Dom. We’re family,” she responds, and her response is bittersweet. We are family, but the feeling and thoughts I’ve had about Thea are anything but familial. This is just proof I need to get those thoughts out of my head. She’s too good for the likes of me, anyhow. I hurt her when we were younger. To make matters worse, I did it over a woman who spent most of our relationship lying to me. Hell, deep down I even knew she was lying, and I still let her.
“Yeah, we are,” I agree and kiss her forehead just as the door opens. “I need some air,” I respond with a sigh.
“I’ll go with you,” she offers, but I shake my head. “Go be with your parents. I’ll be back in a bit.”
“Are you sure?” For a minute I think I see pain cross over her face, but it’s gone in a flash. I’m probably just being stupid. Thea wants to be my friend—or maybe even look at me as another brother. That’s more than I deserve, and I can’t fuck this up.
“Yeah, you watch over T for me while I catch my breath.”
“Okay, if you’re positive.”
“I am.”
“Okay, Dom. I’ll see you back upstairs.”
Putting in my best effort, I give her a sincere smile and walk away. I’m feeling hopeless and a lot older than I am. I don’t know how to fix it. I just know I need T to survive this. T is everything good. If The Man Upstairs would, I’d beg Him to let me change places with T. I have always felt so fucking guilty. Things came easily to me, but not T. He’s struggled his whole life. It’s not fair, and I’ve never wanted to fix things more for him than I do right now … Maybe someday I will be able to do that, but right now, I just need my brother to survive this.
