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It was? Worry filled her.
Alec grunted. “Doctor been in?”
“No, I need to go tell them she’s awake.”
“I’ll do it in a moment.” Alec’s gaze landed on hers. “We’re going to take care of you, Lilac.”
She sucked in a breath. For some reason, she felt like crying.
“I don’t want to have my butt smacked.”
Holy. Crap.
Why had she said that?
Alec’s lips twitched. “Can’t help you with that one, sweetheart.”
“You could tell Tanner that he’s not allowed to do that. He’ll listen to you.”
“But he’s your guardian now. It’s in the job description. And if he didn’t smack your butt, then he’d have me to answer to.”
Yikes.
So, she was going to find no reprieve from him.
“Why’d you go running so early in the morning, sweetheart?” Alec asked.
“I . . . I couldn’t sleep,” she muttered. That was the simplest explanation, though not precisely the full one.
Alec just nodded. “Right. Well, you won’t be doing that again. Getting your butt spanked will help you remember. I’ll go find the doctor.”
28
A beat of silence followed after Alec left the room. Lilac peeked over at Tanner, whose jaw was clenched as he stared down at his hands.
“I’m sorry, Tanner.”
“What?” His gaze shot up to her. “Why are you apologizing?”
“I shouldn’t have reacted the way I did yesterday. It’s part of the reason I couldn’t sleep. I kept thinking about how I pushed you away for defending me. By rights, you should still hate me, yet you keep looking out for me. All my life, I wanted someone to defend me, and you did that. And how do I reward you? By telling you to go. I . . . I didn’t mean it. I don’t w-want you to g-go. I think I k-keep thinking that you’ll w-work out I’m not w-worth it. I mean, we hardly know each other. Why would you want this?” She waved her hand through the air over her body.
He leaned forward, his face intent as he took hold of her hand. “First of all, do not speak about yourself like that. Why wouldn’t I want you? You are smart and funny. Loyal and beautiful. The way you take care of your friends . . . fuck, Lilac, I would be damn lucky to have you as mine.”
A sob escaped her, tears dripping down her cheeks. “I’m messed up, Tanner. I’ve got s-so many problems. I never should have come here, never should have brought those problems with me.”
“Hey, if you hadn’t come here, I would be even more upset with you, understand?”
“You wouldn’t have known, though. You could have m-moved on with your life.”
He shook his head. “I’ve had this gaping hole inside of me ever since you took off, Lilac. I’ve been a grumpy asshole. Ask any of my brothers. Out of all of them, I’m the most easygoing and fun, but I haven’t felt like myself since I lost you.”
“How can you ever forgive me?” she asked.
“Because I know you have your reasons for what you did. And you’re going to tell me them so I can handle them for you.”
She let out a small, watery laugh. “Do you realize how arrogant you sound?”
“I do?” He gave her a pleased look. “Good. That’s what I was going for.”
