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“What?” The liquor stilled in my gut.
Xavier snickered and stood, towering over me. “You can’t shock us with things we already know. Samkiel told us everything. We know how Zekiel really died. You can’t push us away like you do everyone else.”
I turned and glared at him.
“We get it.” Cameron squeezed my shoulder. “You want to remind us who and what you are, but we never forgot, Didi.”
My brow lifted. “Didi?”
Cameron nodded and poured another shot, passing it to Xavier.
“Yeah, that’s your new nickname. Everyone gets one. Welcome to the family.”
Family.
A thousand and one images threatened to drown me at once at that word. A house with carved initials, a smile from someone I loved dearly, and a cavern of flames and stone that was more a prison than ever a home. Anger bubbled to the surface, replacing my desperate need to claim what they offered. It was hot, quick, and ready to defend my bruised and damaged heart. “I didn’t ask—”
Cameron shook his head and pressed his hand over my mouth, cutting off my words. He and Xavier gulped their drinks and placed their empty glasses down. Cameron stood, and they grabbed my arms, one on each side of me, leading me to the dance floor.
“Yes, yes, you don’t want it. We get it. Let’s go dance,” Cameron said, his body already moving to the beat.
I narrowed my gaze at him as Xavier laughed. It was the most I could do before I was swept off my feet and taken into the masses of bodies, all jumping and screaming with the music. Whatever retort I had died as Cameron placed me on my feet and twirled me toward him.
“This is fun.” He remarked, spinning me again. “You do remember what fun is?”
He didn't give me time to answer before he spun me toward Xavier, who caught me grinning like a fool, and soon my face matched, forgetting my anger. Fun. That's what I wanted, just for a little while. I could blame it on the alcohol, but tonight I would bury my suffering. Just one night.
I knew the members of The Hand were famous, but it still shocked me how people gathered around them, laughing with us all and asking to dance. Everyone wanted to speak to them or just ogle. On the plus side, the management didn’t allow any type of recording device in here. I would bet it was why they’d chosen this club. That, and we were being treated like royalty.
I didn’t remember when it happened or how. Maybe it was the drinks they had all but shoved my way. I remembered Cameron and Xavier swinging me between them, my feet touching nothing but air, and suddenly, I was laughing, truly laughing. Xavier’s face lit up every time, and Cameron would tell another joke to keep me distracted. It worked. We danced, screamed, and sang a song I didn’t know the lyrics to, but it was fun.
I was fine as long as I didn’t stop, didn’t think. Every time I did, I saw her ghost.
Cameron tipped a guy’s head back, pouring clear liquid into his mouth. After him, he moved to the guy’s girlfriend, and then so on, moving through the crowd. Xavier stopped next to me. He watched Cameron with an indulgent smile as if this were normal when they went out, but I sensed something else beneath his placid facade.
I wondered if they’d ever slept together. I knew celestials, like most, were fluid in their sexuality. The images I had seen in Samkiel’s blooddreams told me that much, but it was different with Cameron and Xavier. Maybe they hadn’t. Maybe what they had was like what was between Samkiel and me. And a part of me felt so damn guilty for still wanting him after—
My head split, a blinding pain making my teeth clench. I cradled my head in my hands, rubbing at my temples as the music faded. Light spilled from a hallway in a house so far out of reach. Wood bent, splinters falling to the floor as the walls bowed. The rows of chains wrapping around the door drew tight, and the locks clanked with every hit the door took, holding what was locked away inside. Flames crackled, and smoke rolled beneath the door, the beast demanding release with a defiant ear-splitting roar.
My body jolted to the side, a man throwing an apology at me before hurrying away through the crowd. Music flooded my subconscious and yanked me away.
And a lock on a door in a house rattled.
“You’re up, Didi!” Cameron shouted.
The world snapped back as I forced a smile, blinking away that damned house. Maybe that was it. Maybe the alcohol was burning off, and I needed to drown the voices. I walked over, no one noticing that my head had almost ruptured.
“Everything okay?” Cameron asked.
Maybe I hadn’t hidden it as well as I’d thought. I nodded. “Fine.”
His hand cradled my head as I opened my mouth and leaned back, trusting him to support me. The alcohol hit the back of my throat, this time definitely burning. I sat up and wiped my mouth with the back of my hand, forgetting about my lipstick.
As soon as the fiery liquid pooled in my gut, I motioned that was it for me. My stomach churned, seeking another form of liquid.
Xavier appeared at my side again. Concern etched into his beautiful face. “Want to sit?” I realized that one of them had never been more than a few feet from me all night, and I didn’t think it was because they were my jailors. Maybe it was the devil’s tango talking, but it seemed they actually cared about me. They were protecting me.
I nodded, and he held out his hand. I glanced at it but didn’t take it. Instead, I headed toward one of those large crescent lounge seats. He whistled at a couple trying to swallow each other’s tongues. They broke apart, saw him, jumped up, and left.
