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“Samkiel opened up the world after he brought you to Rashearim, and the mortals went mad. We have never seen this many out all night,” Cameron whispered.
I shook my head, folding my arms tighter across myself, and thanked the old dead gods for Cameron speaking and shaking me from my thoughts. I’d assumed they would take me to a fancy celestial club and was shocked to learn they wanted to go to Onuna. Truthfully, I would have begged to get out of the house and do something fun. I would welcome anything to distract me.
The heels I’d worn kept catching on the uneven stone walkway, and my feet were already hurting. Was this what mortal life had to offer? If so, I would pass. I slid my hand over the front of my dress. Finding something in the massive closet that would pass as a club outfit had been a challenge. We had done some creative mix and matching. I admit, it was fun having Xavier and Cameron throw random dresses and shoes toward me in their efforts to help. We finally settled on a thin white wrap dress. It was short enough, and Xavier messed with the front to reveal the lace bra I wore beneath.
I walked toward the double doors, flanked by the two of them. This was unbelievable. I couldn’t believe I was going into a bar with two of The Hand for a fun night out. I forced myself not to think about how much Gabby would have loved this.
You’re running out of time.
I rubbed my ear as if I could scratch the words out. That damn voice filtered through my subconscious, haunting every corner of that damned house, and echoed in my every dream. It sounded like another constant reminder of how I’d failed her, and I just wanted to forget tonight. I shook it off, lowering my hand and burying that voice deep.
Cameron must have picked up on the sudden change in my mood. He leaned toward me and whispered, “I don’t remember Ig’Morruthens looking this nice.” He grinned. “You are usually all horns and fire and sharp teeth.”
The corners of my mouth lifted in an attempt at a smile. “I probably could still light you on fire. I just may need matches now.”
“Sounds fun,” he said with a wink, not missing a beat.
“You look pretty, Dianna,” Xavier said, glancing at Cameron over my head.
I don’t know why my chest chose that moment to ache, but it did. Like a servant overly eager to please, my mind delivered the memories of the two men I had loved like brothers. Pain flashed like ice in my veins as I remembered their betrayal, yet I could still see Drake’s smile when I told a stupid joke and how Ethan had tried not to laugh. They had been a refuge, a place to go where I would be safe and accepted without judgment. Family was what I thought I had, but family was all I had lost. Cameron and Xavier were not Ethan and Drake, but my heart bled for the connection I no longer had. They had said they loved me, and beyond my stupid hate, a part of me still missed them. Anger shut down the swarm of emotions that threatened to overwhelm me.
I hated the word love.
“Let’s just get inside,” I said, shaking my head and stomping ahead, leaving them and the ghosts behind. “I want to drink enough to black out tonight.”
* * *
I held Xavier’s gaze, my expression serious. “On the count of three. One. Two. Three!”
Xavier licked the salt off the back of his hand as I did mine. Our arms crossed between us, linking with a shot in hand. We tipped our heads back and downed the clear liquid in one gulp. This one didn’t burn like the others. I had done four already, and for once, I wasn’t feeling immense guilt or regret. No, I felt like I was floating, which was a pleasant alternative.
We slammed the empty glasses down, and the people around us cheered. They laughed and hollered, a pleasant reprieve from the sadness that had become my constant companion.
“No one has ever done three of the devil’s tango and not thrown up.” A woman giggled, her group of friends nodding. It seemed we’d come on some university party night, and students crowded the club.
Cameron waved his hands through the air. “Okay, tabs on me. Less talking, more drinking. Let’s go!” The crowd went wild again, and this time, even Xavier joined in. The bartender slid a bottle toward us, and then he and another hurried away to help the growing crowd. Cameron placed three clean shot glasses in front of us.
“This isn’t really laying low, you know?” I couldn't stop the giggle that floated out next. Maybe I have had too much. “I am a wanted criminal.”
Xavier filled his glass and then mine before grabbing the salt. “I won’t tell if you won’t”
I snickered while taking another shot with him.
Cameron wrapped his arms around us both, pulling us close. “Oh, this is exactly how you lay low. An over-rambunctious crowd, all drinking and dancing and hiding away to fuck. Everyone here is too focused on having a good time even to notice you.”
I hadn’t thought about it like that. “Smart and downright wicked. I like it.”
Cameron winked at me. “Do you have one more in you?”
My head swam as I tried to focus on my glass. “I said I wanted to blackout. The room isn't even spinning yet. Do your worst.”
“I like you.” He grinned, licked his hand, and sprinkled salt on it before passing it to me.
“Zekiel said you would, but that was before I helped get him killed.”
Cameron stared at me, and I felt Xavier go still. I didn’t wait for him, licking the salt from my hand and throwing back the shot.
“Are you ever going to stop feeling sorry for yourself?” Cameron asked.
