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She looked up to find Bryce observing the interaction. She probably could have asked if he was interested in the funeral arrangements, but she needed to know if it would be a problem. She hadn’t yet figured out his place in everything that was going on, but she was certain he belonged somewhere.
“I’m sorry,” she said after a tense silence. “I should have asked you if you wanted anything to do with this. I just don’t want to step on any toes. Things between Brandon and me have been… complicated. But he’s your brother. I don’t want you to feel like an outsider just because we had our problems.”
“Don’t apologize,” Bryce eventually said. “You have a lot going on. Would you like me to help with the arrangements? I will do whatever you need me to do to make this easier on you.”
Samantha tried to figure out if he was being sincere. He stood facing her with his hands in his pockets. His eyes searched her face as if he was honestly trying to figure out the best way to help her. Before she could respond to him, the chief spoke up.
“You can have anyone you want sit with you while we go over things,” Chief Barnes said earnestly. “Like he said, whatever we can do to make this easier on you.”
Bryce double checked the address on his phone before he entered the building. It seemed surreal that his brother had to die before he would see where he lived. His mind drifted to the past and how toxic things had become between them in the months before Brandon left. Regardless of their mother’s mental state, Bryce couldn’t allow Brandon to treat her like shit. Instead of treating their mother better, Brandon just became belligerent toward Bryce as well.
“Hi,” Samantha greeted him. “You didn’t have to bring anything.”
Bryce handed over the white paper bag filled with donuts and repositioned the large thermos of coffee, so he wasn’t in danger of dropping it. “Yes, I did. You need to eat something even if it is a donut and has nearly no nutritional value. And I brewed a fresh pot of coffee. The coffee at my local donut shop is terrible.”
He entered the apartment when Samantha stood back from the door and gestured with her free hand. The apartment was small, but still a decent size for New York City. Aside from a couple of framed certificates and a plaque issued by the FDNY, he didn’t see much that made him think of his brother. The décor was simple yet inviting.
Bryce headed for the kitchen, determined to make sure Samantha ate something and got some caffeine in her before facing the decisions that had to be made. He didn’t know if she was a coffee drinker, but he knew he couldn’t function well on an empty stomach or without coffee.
“Coffee cups?” he asked once inside the kitchen.
“You really don’t have to do all this,” Samantha said. She removed two mugs from the cabinet and set them on the counter.
Without another word, Bryce filled the two cups with the steaming hot liquid. He slid one closer to Samantha before picking the other one up and taking a sip. Closing his eyes, he took a moment to enjoy his first sip. Samantha opened the refrigerator and added some cream before she indulged.
“So, why didn’t I know about you?” she asked after a long silence.
“Wow. You really get to the point, huh.”
“I’ve been curious since last night. More than once, he made a big deal out of being an only child. You can imagine my surprise when I met you,” Samantha explained.
Bryce considered the best way to answer the question. He didn’t want to weigh her down with family drama, but he also didn’t want to pretend that everything was going great. The already complicated situation became even more complicated.
“We weren’t close. We had a falling out before he moved to the city, and we never really got over it,” he answered. “You never think time will run out…”
Samantha watched closely but didn’t interrupt.
“Our mom had issues,” he continued. “She was never diagnosed, but looking back I’m sure she suffered from depression. Most likely bipolar depression. Even when we were little, we knew that sometimes we had to take care of Mom. When Brandon got a little older, he started to resent her. When Mom was having a hard time, he treated her like absolute shit instead of trying to help her.”
“I’m so sorry.”
“Don’t feel sorry for us. It’s okay, really. I just want you to understand that however he treated you, and whatever secrets he kept, don’t take it personally.”
They both kept quiet as they sipped their coffee. Bryce hated not knowing much about her. It was hard to be there for someone without being able to anticipate their needs. She appeared to be holding up okay, considering, but it was impossible to know for certain.
“Was he good to you?” Bryce finally asked.
Samantha seemed surprised by that question. “No one has ever asked me that before.”
He said nothing while he waited for her to respond. She looked into her cup of coffee as if the answer might be hiding in there. After a long moment of worrying her bottom lip, she looked up and met his gaze. Her warm brown eyes searched his.
“No,” she answered so softly he nearly missed it.
She didn’t pull her hand back when he reached over and took it in his. He didn’t have an explanation, but he felt a connection to her. He had been drawn to her since the moment he saw her. Deep down he knew she likely suffered at the hands of his brother, and he couldn’t allow himself to just walk away knowing the carnage that had been left in Brandon’s wake.
“He never hit me,” she continued. “But he wasn’t good to me. And our last few interactions before he died weren’t good. I feel like a monster because I’m so pissed at him. Even though he’s dead.”
“You’re not a monster.”
