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The problem was, when people asked him what was going on with them, it was getting harder and harder to shrug it off or give a vague answer. And if he was being honest with himself, he was tired of it. He didn’t want to do it anymore. It was obvious to everyone what they were and how happy they made each other. They couldn’t deny it forever. To others or themselves.
Today probably wasn’t the best day to bring it up. It was Sunday and his last day off before he was back at work for another four days. But every day that passed, his feelings for her grew stronger and he was at a point now where he needed more.
Like most Sundays they spent together, they’d made a big dinner, watched a movie and were now cuddling up on the couch. However, Zach was far from relaxed. His knee hadn’t stopped bouncing since the movie ended.
It’s now or never.
“Baby, do you think we can talk?” His voice was rough. His heartrate rougher.
Libby’s head came up, those big, beautiful eyes studying him before she pushed up until she was sitting upright again. “Everything okay?”
She knew it wasn’t. Her teeth had already sunk into her lower lip as her gaze continued to scan his features. Looking for clues.
“No, baby, it’s not ...” He fought back his own panic as he spoke. He needed to be strong. She needed to hear what he had to say. “We can’t carry on like we are. I can’t do it anymore. Things need to change.”
“What do you mean?” Confusion marred her pretty features.
She must have known this was coming. How could she not?
“I need to be able to call you mine.” He reached out for her, his fingers delicately tracing the contour of her face. “I want that label. I need it. I want us to start planning a future together. For real. And ... the first step to doing that is calling this what it so clearly is. A relationship. A really fucking good one.”
Libby was quiet as her arms curled around her torso. He recognised that move. She was retreating. That was not a good sign.
“And if I can’t?” she whispered.
His hand dropped and he squeezed his eyes shut. He didn’t want it to come to this. “Then I can’t do this anymore.’
“So that’s it?” Her voice shook. “It’s all or nothing?”
“Yes.”
As his eyes flickered open, his stomach became tight. Moisture pooled in those wide Disney eyes. And perfect pink lips quivered.
“I’m trying, Zach. I am. Really hard. But I’m just not ready. I need more time.”
Maybe she was. Maybe she wasn’t. But was he really prepared to wait for what could be forever?
“And when will you be ready, Libby?” Well aware his voice was rising, he tried his best to rein in his frustration. “I knew how I felt about you three months ago. Before we even kissed. Before we went to bed together. Are you really gonna pretend you don’t feel this? How good we are? How happy we make each other? I’m so goddamn sick of pretending. Pretending we’re not together. Pretending this isn’t real. And that I’m not completely in love with you.”
That’s it, shout I love you in her face. That’ll make her love you back.
“W-what?”
“You heard me, princess. I’m completely fucking crazy about you. I’m in love with you. You make me so goddamn happy. We’re talking truly, Disney, singing critters happy here.” He threw her words back at her. He’d never forgotten them. He’d kept them with him every day since she’d told him.
She didn’t reply, instead, she folded in on herself, drawing her knees up and wrapping her arms around them. When two silent teardrops started their descent down her cheeks, he had to use all his strength to stop himself from tugging her back into his chest. From giving in and telling her he’d wait forever.
When it was clear she didn’t know what to say, he decided to prompt her. “What are you so afraid of?”
When she didn’t answer straightaway, he expected more tears. But as soon as she wiped her cheeks, he caught a glimpse of fire. Defiance. The next thing he knew she was on her feet. Laying it all out for him.
“You want to know what I’m afraid of? Okay, fine.” Her hands were waving now, and that shaky voice had been replaced with a louder, stronger one. “Say I move here. Permanently. Say we give it a go and we become a real-life couple. What happens a year from now when you’ve made me fall in love with you and I’m in way over my head? What happens when you get sick of my weird habits or annoyed that I want to stay in all the time and read my books or watch my TV shows ... what happens then?”
Libby wasn’t making sense. Had she not just heard him? He was in love with her for God’s sake. That meant he loved everything about her. Everything.
“I’ll tell you what happens,” Libby continued. “We break up. You break my heart. Then ... then I’m stuck. Stuck in this town where I’ve made a life. A real one. With friends and church fairs and Mrs Tucker’s bake sales. And I’m running into you every damn day, ‘cause let’s face it, this is a small ass town! You might be used to running into exes, but I’m not. I won’t be able to handle it. Seeing you every day. I can’t even ... I’d have to move. But it wouldn’t be like when I normally move; it would be moving because of a man, and that’s just sad, y’know? It reminds me of my mom. I’ve spent my whole life trying not to be my mom. The whole thing would be—”
Before she could sprout any more crap, Zach’s mouth was on hers. Crashing down and prying her lips apart like his life depended on it. A desperation had risen from the pit of his stomach and reached his chest. It twisted and squeezed as he tasted heaven. Maybe for the last time.
