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Rachel flashed her another sad smile. She had a feeling she was going to be getting a few of those tonight. “What changed?”
“When I was nineteen my mom got sick ... I was at college at the time. My mom was shacked up with Mike.” Libby paused for a moment to clear her throat. “I still remember that phone call. Exactly what she said. Word for word. But I was young and dumb, I had no idea how serious it was. It wasn’t until I went down there, a few weeks later, that I understood. Mike was gone, of course. Packed up his bags as soon as she told him.” Her head shook at the memory. “Another one bites the dust.”
Rachel waited patiently as Libby downed her drink. If she just focused on the heat burning a path down her throat, there was a chance she would get through this without falling apart.
“The doctor basically gave her six months.” Libby’s voice cracked. “Insurance didn’t cover end of life care, so I stepped in. Spoke to my college. Deferred a year, and moved back in with her.”
“Oh, sugar.”
“You know what she was most upset about though? Mike. Fucking Mike. Not the cancer. Not the fact she only had six damn months to live. Not that her daughter would be losing her mother at nineteen years old. Motherfucking Mike.” All the anger she’d been holding in for so long started to spill. “She cried every day for him, while I cried every day for her. I swore right then and there no one would ever have that kind of power over me. And they never have.”
Her story was out there now. Hanging in the air like dead weight. No breakdown, though. That was a win.
The only other person she’d shared her story with was Cat. She never felt safe enough with anyone else. Not until Rachel.
And Zach.
But she wasn’t planning on telling Zach anytime soon. Not any more than he already knew anyway. It was bad enough she missed him. Throw in some emotional baggage to the mix of what they had, and her heart would certainly be compromised.
Meeting her friend’s pale blue eyes, she knew straight away she wanted to say something. But for some reason Rachel was holding back.
“Say what you want to say. I won’t be offended,” Libby encouraged.
“Okay. But you’re not allowed to be mad at me, okay?” She knew it!
After a nod in agreement, Rachel continued.
“It sounds to me like you made a very big, life-changing decision that you likely never would have made had you not been grieving. You were nineteen, you lost your mom, and you were suddenly all alone in the world, right? But instead of using your emotional energy to deal with that, it kinda sounds like you fixated on what happened with Mike. How he left. How your mom dealt with him leaving. And most importantly, how she maybe prioritised him over you.”
Yeah. And?
“It hurt. It still hurts. How can you do that to your own kid?”
Maybe she’d celebrated not having a breakdown too soon. Because the tears were definitely back, and they weren’t showing any signs of stopping.
Rachel was out of her seat and rounding the counter a second later. Before long, Libby was sobbing in her arms, a lifetime of pain pouring out of her in floods. All she could do was let it all out and hope it would eventually stop.
