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I had to give the crowd a speech about how happy I am the project had been such a huge high-flying success and what a great team I had.
There was no earnest in the words pouring from my mouth. I just wanted to get from the start of the speech to the end in the most direct way. My heart was so distracted by the woman I loved; a woman who was moving further away with each passing second, out of my reach.
I guess I got there, because applause rattled in my ears. When the crowd finished clapping, I excused myself and climbed down from the stage.
Reporters rushed me with microphones and camera flashes. Ordinarily, I would be ready and willing to talk up my new baby, but my heart bolted out the back door in a black dress and heels.
Close to the stage, I ran into a pretty blonde just beyond the sea of journalists. She turned around and looked me up and down, appraising. Her curls bounced as she approached, then it clicked where I recognized her from.
Shell.
"Lia's gone?" I asked.
"She didn't want to endure seeing you here." Shell wasn't smiling.
"Yeah… I haven't gotten in touch. But I need to talk to her. It's complicated… Do you know where she is? Where she might have gone?"
"It's only complicated because you made it that way." Shell crossed her arms and frowned.
"I keep hearing that. Look, do you know where she is? I really need to talk to her."
Shell narrowed her eyes, examining me. Could she see how tired I was? There were bags under my eyes; I hadn't slept well in some time. I was a wreck these last few weeks.
"That depends. Do you need her for your publicity bullshit, or do you need her for her?"
I met Shell's accusatory gaze.
"I promise you, I'm trying to make this better. Please."
Shell sighed. "She didn't tell me where she went. I had to guess, though, I'd say the beach. She's been walking a lot after work. And Raphael?"
I turned to leave, but looked back when she called out.
"If you fuck this up again, I'm making it my mission to make you miserable."
I nodded and gave her a weary smile. When I turned back toward the door, reporters had me surrounded.
"Mr. Teresse, is this your date this evening?"
"Mr. Teresse, can you comment on reports of Experience's suffering?"
"Mr. Teresse, is it true your designer was a personal friend?"
I didn't care to answer any of the questions. Exhaustion won over politeness, and I pushed past them. I had somewhere I needed to be, and it wasn't Experience Shoreview.
"Mr. Teresse!"
I had to make this right. I only hoped I wasn't too late.
Lia
Ireached the sand and stared off into the moody water. I kicked off my heels so I could go greet the frothy shoreline. My companion in solitude.
The frigid wind blowing off the ocean whipped my hair into disarray and stung the channels of moisture on my cheeks. I didn't give a shit anymore. The cold matched my numb heart. It was biting. It understood pain.
I knew what getting invested in him meant, what the stakes were, but I didn't stop myself from falling in time. I crashed.
I confided in the man all my life even if he wasn't there for it. Losing the sanctity of my thoughts hurt as bad as the rejection, maybe even more.
