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I was still standing, though. That had to count for something.
Why did I abandon that comfortable routine? Now I could never go back. No more Mystery Guy. I was alone.
Seeing Raph was hard, but I would get over it. I have to let this go. Reframe thoughts.
I was done with Experience, and could get a new routine going. Get back to normal. A new normal.
Plus, I didn't have to do pointless fluff work for the rest of my life. That was a bonus, wasn't it?
The initial excitement was for my career, not only for the man presenting the opportunity. But as she got to know him, my priorities changed. I changed. I was more confident than I'd ever been in my life.
Letting it all go was like a death. I didn't want Design Everything anymore, and I didn't want to want Raph, either.
I had to see the good, not the heartbreaking, devastating, lonely truth. I shouldn't care if he had beautiful eyes and a perfect body and showed me I could feel. Or that he held my hand through my mother's breaking point.
I sniffed and raised my head defiantly. This was not the time to fantasize about the man who broke me. It was a hard habit to break, but it was getting easier.
Today was just a setback.
Chapter Twenty-Nine
Raph
Ifinally knew the answer. It was so obvious now, but I couldn't see it clearly until she turned away.
Lia ran from me like I ran from her in our youth… like I had a few weeks ago. A sick joke, but better late than never.
Geoff was a good man who loved me like a son. He taught me the ins and outs of running a business because that's what he wanted, needed, and lived for. He passed on all his knowledge and his empire, along with a statement of will.
Except it wasn't a statement of will, it was a piece of advice. A regret. Finding more success than Geoff wasn't building the Experience empire higher and higher; it meant realizing there's more to life than that.
Lia was my more, and I needed her to know.
Please don't let it be too late.
I pulled in next to the closest beach and spied a pair of expensive heels abandoned in the sand. My heart raced as I jogged toward the thrashing water.
I looked up and down the shoreline, searching for a sign of the woman I loved. Squinting against the angry wind, I could make out the shape of someone sitting by the water. I approached her slowly, entranced by the ocean crawling up, receding, then washing up again.
Lia's soft cries were barely audible over the tide. I knelt in the sand, the broken waves licking my shoes each time they lapped ashore.
Finally, she met my gaze. Her eyes were bloodshot and glassy from crying, but as soon as our locked she went quiet, cold, and still.
The air escaped my lungs. She looked thin and small and frail. This was real hurt, and I was staring it in the face. Her mouth, a thin line, regained its plump shape and trembled. All the while, she looked me in the eye. I was gutted. I did this to her.
"I have something to say, Lia." I paused, giving her time to turn away if she wanted me to go.
When she didn't, I went on. "When I first saw you at your firm, I was drawn in. I tried like crazy to figure out why, and by the time it clicked, you were there. Such a powerful, beautiful force in my life. When I moved to New York, I had nothing. Until Geoff found me. He gave me a chance, taught me, and loved me. It's been a few years now. Right before he died, he told me I should find even more success than he found in life." My eyes stung, but I couldn't stop. "Since I inherited his clubs, his fortune, and all his worldly possessions, I assumed he meant for me to carry on his legacy… Experience."
Lia was a saint for letting me get everything off my chest, but she eyed me wearily. I deserved her hesitation.
"I tried in vain to fill his shoes, threw myself as deep as I could into work. That worked fine until I met you. I thought you were a distraction, but you were the key. The thing about Geoff… He treated me like a son. I think he started to regret investing all his time in Experience as he got older. He would tell me to go out with my buddy Kendall, see people, experience love. I didn't think much of it, though. I was a business-minded guy. Like him. A lone wolf, better off that way. But I was wrong. I couldn't get you off my mind. And I tried. I tried everything, even leaving you again. But it's been hell, and if you'll give me a chance, I'll prove to you how much you mean to me. I'm in love with you, Amelia Hall. I love you."
Lia was silent. I hurt her, and I knew it. It took me a while to get myself together, but I came for her as soon as I could. She was everything. I wasn't going down without a fight.
"You run three businesses across two states."
"Yes."
