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That was all Shell was going to get, crashing my pity party for one. I wasn't looking for company or pep talks. I wanted to wake up discovering the day never happened. Or disappear.
"Even if it seems like the world is ending, it isn't. You aren't going to take this bullshit lying down. Derrick had it in for you, but you aren't going to let him have that power, to hold you under his thumb. My girl is way stronger than she thinks, and also way, way good at design. Do you still have your original plans saved?"
"Uh, yeah, they should be on my work computer. Ugh. I have to take that in. I was hoping I wouldn't have to go back."
I slid back down until I was curled up on the sofa again. Shell sighed and rubbed my side. Her effort was nice, but not having an effect.
"Meet me at lunchtime at the cafe we love. We'll have some food, then I'll go with to take the computer back, okay?"
"If I have to."
"That's all you have to do, then you can sulk the rest of the week."
"I love you, Shell."
"I love you, too, Lia. Everything is going to be okay. You'll see."
Shell smiled like she really meant it. I knew she was wrong, but I still loved her spunk. This ache in my chest would never cease. My heart and future were smashed to pieces.
Inever got up to go to bed, and I could feel it all over. Every part of my body ached. Crying myself to sleep left my eyes puffy and red, and my hair was a matted disaster. I felt hungover, unable to focus.
I dragged myself to my bedroom to get ready to meet Shell. She was going to get Giant Sweater Lia, and she'd better like it. A shower wasn't in the cards, and there would be no fixing the disaster of my hair, so I steered into the skid and tied it into a super messy braid over the shoulder. If I squinted at my reflection, I could almost pretend it was intentional.
I picked out my coziest knit hat, tugged on the comfy boots I should have gotten rid of a couple years back, and headed out with my purse and laptop bag. This would be the last time I needed to make this drive. The last time I'd have to see or talk to Derrick.
In through the nose, out through the mouth.
I'd get past this and get a new job somewhere I would be appreciated, and this would just be a little bump in the road. All that was fine, but getting past the other part of this shit storm was going to be a lot harder.
I spent years upon years making sure Mystery Guy was the best guy. He was unforgettable, un-get-over-able. We spent mere days together, but my heart was in thousands of pieces. Broken shards I couldn't reassemble into anything that wouldn't hurt me and everyone else. It was too late to backtrack.
I snagged a parking space around the corner from the cafe and walked the rest of the way to the door, the cold wind biting into my cheeks and ripping through my sweater and coat. I pulled it close. Me and the weather had a lot in common.
Shell was already sitting inside when I opened the door. She raised a hand wave when she saw me. That wouldn't be our booth anymore. I was unemployed.
"You made it."
"I made it." I slumped into the booth and picked up a menu card.
The waitress came over, took our orders, and collected the menus. Then Shell revealed what a terrible traitor she was.
"Shell. What did you do?" I hissed.
Raph stood next to our booth, and Shell was leaving me.
"I'm just going to take my food back to my desk. You, my love, are going to give your design presentation. Good luck. I know he's going to love it," Shell used her guilty voice, then laid a quick peck on my cheek as she walked away.
Traitor.
I was in no way close to dressed for this occasion. I looked like hell. I didn't even know how much charge my computer had. Shit shit shit.
"Can I sit down?"
I nodded and slid further into the booth, giving him room. Raph's closeness made me ill. He didn't want me, he wanted the plans. He wouldn't have been so cold if he were interested in anything else.
I can get through this. I will get through this.
"Let me just get my computer set up, and I'll show you what I have. How did she get you here?"
